


Meteor Showers

by Twentytwentythree



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Smut, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, M/M, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:49:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28789776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twentytwentythree/pseuds/Twentytwentythree
Summary: Killua makes his first friend.
Relationships: Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 24
Kudos: 54





	1. Begging of an End

Math was Killua’s least favorite subject.

However, Illumi was expecting him to be done with his homework by the time he was finished with a very important business meeting that he dragged a very unenthusiastic Killua to.

Or to wait for Illumi outside, to be more specific.

That’s why Killua was sitting behind a bar, with his binders, books and pens neatly organized in front of him on top of the mahogany wood bar.

Killua made sure to stay out of the bartenders’ way and to sit at the far left corner behind the bar as the workers tended to their jobs, serving all kinds of cocktails and drinks he wasn’t allowed to go anywhere near.

But he absolutely had to accompany Illumi wherever he went, that was Illumi’s fucked-up logic.

He knew that if Illumi came out of the back room of this bar and found out he’s been drinking, he would end up with a few broken ribs that night.

Killua was growing bored and frustrated with his homework, he had been confused at whatever equation he was working on and there was no one to explain anything to him, answer his questions or offer any type of help, so he started looking around the place.

He was definitely the only 16-year-old in sight, the place was a classy, laid back, expensive hang out spot for middle-aged, rich men. It was dimly lit by aureate, lavish, black roof lights that decorated the ceilings, and gave it a more romantic vibe mixed with the sound of chattering and slow jazzy music.

It had been two hours since he arrived with Illumi, and knowing his older brother he might have to wait for an hour or so more, while Illumi studied every last detail of a contract he might not even agree to sign.

Killua finally decided to take a walk around the place to clear his mind, so he hopped off the bar stool that was brought specifically for him to sit behind the bar and started his journey to explore the place.

He barely made his way through the tables when he noticed the manager looking his way immediately, while picking up the phone to probably inform Illumi.

Killua had barely even passed the second booth before he started to make his way back, since he decided it wasn’t worth it to get into trouble and get grounded tonight.

He checked to see if the manager was still looking his way, and he wasn’t, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of the weight of someone’s eyes on him.

He hopped back on his stool and skipped through the pages in his book when he heard a man’s voice addressing him; “Miss…”

Killua looked up to see a man that looked in his mid-twenties, with black hair that framed his face and charcoal grey eyes that felt like they stared right through him, he had strong masculine features and a sweet smile.

The man was dressed in a black suit and had a bandana tied around his forehead.

Though he had a sweet smile on his face, he seemed intimidating.

“Excuse me?!” Killua snapped, staring down the man standing before him on the opposite side of the bar.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize—” The man started to apologize.

“Whatever, I’m not interested.” Killua scoffed dismissively.

This man was trying to make an advance on him and he knew this all too well, just an hour ago some old guy tried to get his number, but this time he probably wasn’t going to be nice enough not to let Illumi know about the asshole that just called him a girl.

The man chuckled “Well… This fell out of your pocket when you were passing by the booths.” He said holding Killua’s phone in his hand.

“Oh…” Killua felt his face growing warmer reaching out to take his phone back.

“I’m sorry about that, but you look very young, that’s why I was confused and…”

“It’s okay, thank you for this.” Killua said pocketing his phone and shifting his gaze back to his paperwork.

“How old are you anyway?” The man wondered.

“Why? Are you like a bouncer or something?” Killua questioned, cocking a brow at the man.

“I might be, and we can’t have underage kids running around at our facility”

“Well, you shouldn’t worry about it, I was invited here by the owner of the bar, so if you don’t mind…”

“Really now?” The man’s tone grew more cheerful, it almost sounded challenging. He was definitely getting on Killua’s nerves.

“I was just with the owner and he never told me we were having a kids’ birthday party tonight.”

That stupid smile on the man’s face was making Killua’s blood boil.

Admittedly he was very handsome, but he was much more of nuisance.

“Well, you can go back to the owner and tell him that Mr. Illumi Zoldyck isn’t very happy about how you go around doing _your_ job” Killua retorted.

“Funny thing, I was just with _Mr. Illumi Zoldyck_ , and he is very pleased with our hospitality.” The man said plainly.

Killua’s face fell at that, and he didn’t know how to respond. If he says his Illumi’s brother now he’ll look like a bratty kid who name drops his brother’s name to get what he wants, and Illumi would definitely be overjoyed to learn that, Killua could never let that happen.

“Uh… I…”

“So, how did you sneak in past security?” The man’s smile disappeared and his tone was more serious now.

Yup, Killua was in deep shit.

“Unless you came with _Mr. Illumi Zoldyck_ , and that would probably make you his little brother, Killua?”

“You…” Killua was infuriated.

So this man already knew who he was but decided to toy with him.

No, he wouldn’t wait for Illumi, he’ll settle this right now.

“You think you’re really funny, huh?”

“No, you’re right. That was very rude of me. I was very bored hanging around here when I saw you, and you seemed just as bored, so I thought I would come up and try to lighten the mood, it obviously didn’t work at all.” The man’s explanation seemed very sincere and so did his body language.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you _Mr. Killua Zoldyck_.” but he **had** to add the last part to taunt him and ruin it.

“I’ve heard many great things about you from Illumi.” He said extending his hand waiting for Killua to shake it.

“So you’re not the bouncer then?” Killua questioned.

“No, I’m the owner, Kuroro. But you can call me Kuro, anything for Mr. Zoldyck.”

“Nice to meet you Kuro. Forgive my bluntness but you’re a dick.” Killua said shaking his hand, smiling sweetly right back at him.

Kuroro let out a hearty laugh at Killua’s words.

“I’m really sorry, you just looked as bored as I am, and I’ve always wanted to meet you, Illumi made it seem like you’re a higher being of some sorts,” Kuroro started to make his way behind the bar, to stand next to Killua.

“Really? What did he say?” Killua wondered.

“The usual, that you’re a child prodigy, too mature for your age, how he helped teaching you, you’re the perfect family heir, and so on…” Kuroro said waving his hand, rolling his eyes and trying to imitate Illumi’s cheerful voice, which got Killua giggling.

Illumi said nice things about him behind his back? That was unexpected.

That probably meant that Kuroro and Illumi were close and had worked together in the past, but still since when does Illumi discuss family matters with anyone?

“It really gets boring listening to him go _on_ and _on_ about how great you are, come to find you’re just a regular kid, doing homework at a bar.” Kuroro said looking over at the mess of paper Killua had in front of him.

This man really had a knack of saying all the wrong things and pissing Killua off.

“Well if you must know, I have to hand in my assignment tonight so I have to finish it.”

“Then why did you come here?”

“Illumi made me—” Killua regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth, “And I was bored shitless at home so I didn’t see the problem.” He recovered quickly.

“You know it’s not a good look for us in front of the customers to have a 16-year-old doing homework behind the bar, right?” Killua looked up at Kuroro who was looking back at him waiting for an answer.

“I guess…” Killua said, closing his books and starting to collect the mess and bag it in his backpack.

“Well, since you have to finish your homework we can go someplace else; of your choosing, of course.” Kuroro suggested.

Killua was left puzzled, was this man trying to take him somewhere else where he could try to get in his pants?

If so, and since he’s close enough with Illumi, how would he think that Killua could leave without permission?

And if he did leave without permission, how didn’t he know Illumi would hunt both of them down, kill Kuroro and drag Killua home to meet an even worse fate?

Still, he felt embarrassed to let this stranger know that he was babied out of his mind all the time by his brother, and that’s why he couldn’t leave.

“I’m sorry, I’ll just wait for Illumi to finish his meeting here.” Killua mumbled, avoiding Kuroro’s eyes.

And as if Kuroro read his mind loud and clear he said “If you’re worried I’m some creep who’s trying to do something weird, then trust me, I really do know Illumi well enough, and I wouldn’t dare.

And if you’re worried he would finish his meeting and come out and not find you, then I’ll make sure someone would notify me immediately when they start to wrap things up in there.” Kuroro said.

“Why would you care so much about helping me finish my homework?” Killua looked back at him questioningly.

“I told you, I’m really bored here, I know it looks fancy, but a bar owner really has no work to do, and I thought we could do something fun. Here…” He said reaching into his pocket, “Would you like to make it more interesting?” He asked looking at Killua with a goofy smile.

He didn’t look or seem threatening in the least, and he did seem fun to be around.

“If you don’t have fun while we’re out, I owe you a signed sum of 10,000 jenny.”

Killua was intrigued at that.

“And if I do?” Killua asked.

“Then you’ll give me your number.” Kuroro said, “So we could hang out later.”

“Well, what if I lied?” Killua questioned smirking.

“Then, I would know.”

Killua was hesitant, weighing his options and the risks of agreeing, but Kuroro really seemed disarming and cool, and being Illumi’s ‘acquaintance’ probably meant he wouldn’t dare harm him, because if he wanted to, wasn’t he able to already?

“Okay!” Killua finally agreed under Kuroro’s stern gaze as he hopped off the stool and slung his backpack on his back. “I choose where we go, right?”

“Sure.”

“Okay, then.”

Killua chose a spot at a skate park, where there would be enough people to notice if things would go wrong, while Kuroro was driving them there.

“I really thought you would be as dull as Illumi, but I guess I was wrong, you’re nothing like him.” Kuroro said incredulously, looking ahead as he made the left turn.

“I still can’t believe Illumi never told he has friends!” Killua interrupted, laughing.

They spent the whole car ride talking shit about Illumi, which confirmed Killua’s suspicions about his brother; that he is genuinely intolerable.

It also put Killua in a better headspace, he never actually had anyone to share his contempt towards Illumi with someone who agreed with him and validated his feelings.

“Please! He has tons of friend! Do you know Hisoka?” Kuroro asked, looking quickly over at Killua and back at the road.

“No, who’s that?” Killua questioned.

“Look, you didn’t hear it from me but,” Kuroro started. “I think they’re dating.”

Killua’s jaw dropped, his brows shot up.

Illumi had a boyfriend?!

“No way!” Killua responded through giggles.

“I was shocked too, believe me.” Kuroro added.

“That asshole literally grounded me for a month for exchanging phone numbers with a guy I met.” Killua blurted exasperated.

“And you will keep this a secret right?” Kuroro emphasized.

“Of course! We barely talk, let alone about stuff like that.” Killua assured him as they came to a stop, he quickly grabbed his backpack pulling out a lip balm and applying it to his lips, while he noticed Kuroro staring at him.

“What?” He asked.

“Nothing, I just didn’t think you wore makeup.” Kuroro explained.

“It’s just lip balm. I’m not allowed to wear makeup, get tattoos, piercings or any procedure to alter my appearance.”

“Well, I guess you’re lucky you’re gorgeous then.” Kuroro replied softly, scanning Killua’s lips.

Killua felt heat racing to his face, he shifted his gaze and looked at his feet, he suddenly noticed the car smelling strongly of Kuroro’s cologne that smelled earthy and musky, the smell wrapped around him and enveloped him, it was suggestive, alluring, commanding and captivating.

It felt like two strong, protective arms were wrapped around him, lulling him into comfortable sleep.

The man was definitely very handsome, he was funny and charming and smart and fun to be around. Maybe it wasn’t a bad decision after all to leave the bar with him.

He glanced back up at Kuroro, to see him opening his car door, and Killua felt a mix of disappointment and relief, seconds later he felt his car door open and saw Kuroro standing there, waiting for him.

“Come on, we don’t have all night,” He said gesturing for Killua to step out of the car, which Killua did.

The sun had long set, the sky was a captivating shade of indigo, littered with bright, shining stars that were visible form the spot they chose to sit at.

The weather was perfect, it was chilly enough to get them to sit close to each other but not too much that Killua would start getting goosebumps and shiver.

There weren’t many people around anymore, which Killua belatedly noted.

They sat close to each other on a bench, chatting about anything and everything, and for the first time in forever Killua was having fun, he felt understood, relaxed and at ease, he was genuinely enjoying his time with this guy.

No wonder Illumi didn’t tell him they were friends.

“So, what do you really want to do?” Kuroro asked breaking their comfortable silence.

“What do you mean?” Killua asked.

“You told me you hate the pressure your family puts on you and that you don’t want to inherit their business. So, then, what do you want to do? What’re your dreams?”

The silence ensued once again.

Killua didn’t know what to say.

What did he want to do? He never really stopped to think about that, save for one time, when he thought about running away to find out and actually tried to, but was stopped short of his attempt when Illumi figured it out and returned him back home.

He didn’t have his answer then, instead he was bombarded with extensive physical training and study sessions that forced him to forget about what he wanted until now.

He really didn’t know what he wanted to do. He couldn’t think of anything.

“I want to be happy, I guess…” He finally said.

Kuroro chuckled, “Isn’t that what everyone wants?”

“Yeah… I don’t know…”

“What makes you happy?”

“Getting away from my family. Finding people who understand me, I guess. What about you, are you happy?” Killua finally broke his blank stare and looked back at Kuroro, who was staring intently at him.

Being this close to the man with no added height of a bar stool or him slumping in his car seat made him notice how much bigger he is in size.

He was half a foot taller and he was very broad and muscular, which made Killua feel very vulnerable next to him.

But Kuroro never stopped starring into his eyes.

“You know, I’ve never met anyone who had such electric blue eyes,” Kuroro said, and Killua felt like he was being sucked into Kuroro’s stoic, unwavering gaze, he felt the small space between them diminish slowly, and he felt safe for some reason. “They’re intoxicatingly innocent and brilliant.” He added. “Just like you.”

Killua couldn’t think straight to save his life. He had no idea what to do or what not to do. He didn’t know what to say, he just felt safe and appreciated with this man away from his brother.

And suddenly he heard a phone ring, Kuroro moved reaching in his pocket, snapping Killua out of his dazed stupor and back to reality.

Killua started pouting before Kuroro hung up and turned back to him.

“I guess we should get going, Illumi is finished with his meeting” Kuroro stated as panic began to rise in Killua while the words registered.

“It’s okay, I told them to stall him for a while before I get back.” Kuroro added as they both got up and made their way to the parked car.

The ride back was dead silent, neither of them said anything, Killua was enveloped within his racing thoughts while Kuroro was driving as fast as he could.

“I’m sorry it had to end this way.” Kuroro said looking ahead at the road.

“It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault.” Killua mumbled looking out of his window at the dark sky.

“I don’t know about that…”

“What do you mean?” Killua asked, shifting his position to look at Kuroro.

“I don’t know. I feel so bad that you are in a position where there’s even a chance where you can get in trouble because of me.” Kuroro started, and Killua couldn’t stop staring his way, “I just wish there was something more I could do to make you feel safe, but I can’t drive any faster and I made sure that your brother is being stalled back there…” Kuroro fell silent as if contemplating saying anything else, “I just wanted to see you feel better today.”

“It’s not your fault! It’s no-one’s fault. Ever. I had a lot of fun with you, Illumi could go fuck himself for all I care.” Killua huffed out the last part, slumping back down in his seat.

He did have fun, more than he ever remembered at that. But this was his life and his problem alone.

He enjoyed meeting someone who could understand him so well, without him even having to say anything, someone honest, that made him feel accepted even for a short amount of time.

“Oh…” Kuroro said looking at Killua.

“What?” Killua wondered. He was beginning to question if the man really did read minds.

“Nothing, it’s what you just said,” Kuroro said, putting effort into looking at the road ahead and not at Killua, “You said you had fun. I won.” He ended, not able to hide the happiness creeping into his voice.

Killua lost.

“I guess that means I get to have your number…” Kuroro smiled as he looked at the road.

“I can’t believe that’s what you’re thinking about right now…” Killua mumbled, feigning annoyance.

“Well, give me your phone…” Kuroro demanded removing a hand from the steering wheel and gesturing for Killua to do so.

Killua rolled his eyes and handed over his phone.

“I hope you know that getting my number doesn’t mean we’re automatically best friends.” Killua said as Kuroro typed his number in.

“I wasn’t hoping for that.” Kuroro said, as he looked into Killua’s eyes smiling, and handing Killua his phone back.

Kuroro came to a stop in front of the bar’s building, and Killua quickly started to descend, slinging on his backpack.

“Wait, let me park the car and we could go in there together.”

“No, it’d be better if I go in there first, if someone saw me with you they might tell Illumi.”

“…Fine. I’ll see you inside then.”

Killua made his way to door hurriedly, passing by the bouncer and security.

He entered the bar area and made a beeline over to the bar, as he made it around the corner, he felt his heart sink and the color drain from his face.

Illumi was standing in front of him, towering over him and looking at him, with that expressionless face and those bottomless pools of darkness of eyes.

“Where were you, Killu?”

“Did he see him coming inside?” Kuroro asked the tall blond woman standing before him as he sat down, grabbing his book and flipping through it.

“Yes, at the door as he walked in.” She replied.

“Good job” Kuroro said, pouring his attention on the book.


	2. Life or Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Things happen, plans change."

“Welcome home Killua-sama.” Gotoh greeted Killua at the door as Killua walked past him and into his house, it was a long day at school and tomorrow was finally Saturday, so he could stay up late today, especially since Illumi was leaving for a month long mission, things were finally looking up.

“Illumi-sama wishes to see you in his room, before he leaves.” Gotoh said bowing slightly, before leaving.

“Okay, I’ll change and go see him.”

To think he wouldn’t have to see Illumi for _a month_. A whole month!

Even if Illumi would confiscate his phone, his Xbox, his TV, and set the shittiest curfew possible, it wouldn’t matter, he’ll find a way to get through it as long as Illumi isn’t hovering around him all day long.

Killua walked down the second floor’s hallway, making his way to Illumi’s room, he knocked softly on the door and was met by a “Come in.” muffled by the door. 

“I believe you understand I’m to leave for a month. While I’m gone, Gotoh will be responsible for your homework, schedule, and training sessions. I won’t be available through any means of contact as usual,”

Killua knew this, he knew this very well, and knowing that Illumi handpicked Gotoh of all people to supervise him while he was gone was senseless on Illumi’s part, since he caught him red-handed, lying and withholding information from Illumi about his whereabouts just last week at the bar.

Illumi was slacking lately, even his punishment for his defiance wasn’t as bad as usual.

“However, I wouldn’t want to return home or turn on my phone to learn you have been troublesome while I was gone.” Illumi stopped packing his weapons and looked Killua’s way, there was the slightest frown line between his brows and his lips were ever slightly down turned, he could feel Illumi’s eyes were focused on his form standing in Illumi’s room next to the door, looking down at the ground as he heard him speak.

“Under no circumstance are you allowed to leave or wander on your own again. Do you understand?” Illumi was standing very still, staring through Killua, waiting for an answer.

“Of course, Aniki.” Killua answered eventually, eyes fixed on the floor. It was a few more promises and answers Illumi wanted to hear from him before he was out of his hair, and he could be free to do as he pleased.

“Very good,” Illumi walked closer to him, “I won’t go so easy on you again if you misbehave.” His hand was subconsciously tugging roughly on Killua’s hair, and he was impossibly close to him, crouching in front of him to come eye level with his brother, his eyes still impossibly void of any emotion “Understood Killu?”

“Understood. I won’t misbehave or get into any trouble, Aniki.”

Illumi stared into his eyes for a few more seconds, his anger still evident through his grip and proximity to Killua, and finally stood up and walked back to his expensive, leather luggage set sitting on the bed to continue packing. “You are dismissed.” He finally said.

Killua wanted to wish him a safe journey, but that would be over doing it, and he knew Illumi would easily catch on to him scheming to laze about and have fun while he was gone if Killua started acting overly nice all of a sudden.

So he walked out silently and headed to his room, Illumi didn’t take anything away from him, he was still to receive his weekly allowance, Illumi really was going easy on him; if the injuries Illumi caused him last week healing in a few days was an indicator, then this would be proof.

What was on Illumi’s mind, anyway?

It really didn’t matter right now, Killua flopped on his bed, throwing his head on the pillows and setting one foot atop the other as he laid, and pulled out his phone to check for any messages or missed calls, there weren’t any, so he decided to order Gotoh to stack up his favorite junk foods in his room for later that night.

The plan was to spend the night watching movies and playing video games while eating everything he wasn’t allowed to whenever Illumi was around, and procrastinating assignments, papers and essays he had until tomorrow, if that.

\--------------

Gotoh walked into his room hands full to his elbows, with choco-robo boxes, chips bags and sodas, standing at his door silently.

“Just dump them on the bed,” Killua told him as he continued to play on his Xbox not looking Gotoh’s way.

“Would that be all, Killua-sama?”

“Yeah, if I need anything I’ll call you.”

“Of course, master.” Gotoh said and bowed, before leaving and closing the door behind him.

It was probably past midnight, when Killua turned his attention from the action movie playing on the LED screen, standing barely two feet away from where he sat to his phone, and noticed that he received a text seven minutes ago.

\- ‘Hey, Can we meet in an hour?’

It was Kuroro, texting him at 12:34 a.m.

Asking him to meet him in an hour, after a week of no contact.

Not just that, but did he really expect him to say yes?

Killua had barely gotten over thinking about the time they spent together every second of every day for four days since they met, Kuroro hadn’t contacted him in any way, and out of the blue he thought it would be okay for him to text him and just ask him if he agreed to meet him.

If he wasn’t so happy about how his day of lounging around went, he would’ve texted him with something much worse than just ‘It’s late, maybe some other time’ with a blue heart emoji at the end, locking his phone screen and turning his attention back to the movie.

Killua felt his phone vibrate again after a minute or even less had passed since he replied to Kuroro’s text.

\- ‘I’ll come pick you up, send me your address.’

Killua reread the text twice, even three times, thinking of what to say to deflect the subject of Kuroro coming to his house while coming up with a better excuse, if Kuroro drove into his house’s drive way and any of the butlers saw him, Illumi would be contacted so quickly he wouldn’t even know it.

Scratch that, the man might end up dead in the middle of his driveway. That would definitely ruin his night.

It also didn’t sound like a compromise or an ‘I’ll meet you half way for this’ type of text. It seemed more of a demand.

He _could_ sneak out for a few hours. He probably wouldn’t get this chance later if Kuroro felt stood up by him declining to meet him for no reason.

It would probably be very fun to hang out with someone, other than a member of his family, at this time of the night.

He didn’t see a reason not to, other than he was somewhat upset by Kuroro not texting him immediately after they separated.

\+ ‘You don’t have to, I’ll have someone drive me. Where should I meet you?’

\- ‘The skating rink’

\------------------------------------

Once Killua arrived to the skating rink, he saw Kuroro’s car parked next to the skating rink, he got in, fastened his seat belt and greeted him to which Kuroro greeted him back curtly.

Kuroro was quite, focused on the road, his face was relaxed and he wasn’t paying Killua any attention, as if he didn’t acknowledge his existence next to him in the car. They sat in complete silence for what seemed like forever.

“You lied.” Kuroro announced finally.

Killua turned his focus from watching the darkened sky through the car window to Kuroro, his eyes narrowed as he tried to read the older man for any hints.

“What?”

“You lied. Just now. You told me someone would drop you off. You were walking alone.”

“I didn’t wanna bother anyone at this time.” Killua explained, focusing on Kuroro trying to notice any change in his calm tone, or his expression. Kuroro sounded like a different person, he wasn’t smiling, and his eyes weren’t bright like the other night, instead they were impassive and unreadable. Something about his calm façade was unsettling.

“You’re lying again!” Kuroro yelled, furiously, slamming his hand down on the steering wheel, turning away from the road ahead of him and to his side.

Killua fell silent, his pulse quickening and his eyes quickly shifted away from looking at Kuroro, as Kuroro looked ahead again, stilling, his hands back on the perfect 10 and 2 on the steering wheel, his back straight and shoulders in a perfect line.

“Why didn’t you want me to drive over to your house?”

Killua could hear his heart beating in his ears and his hands getting clammy, the car seemed much smaller all of a sudden as did the distance between both of their car seats.

It seemed like a stupid decision to lie again, but he could always hide parts of the truths “I didn’t want you to know where I live.”

The tense silence enveloped the car once more, the car engine’s sound seemed louder than it had been, cutting through the continuous silence.

Killua’s eyes started darting around the car, memorizing every last detail that might come in handy if he needed to escape, the dashboard didn’t have anything on it, nothing was hanging from the rearview mirror, the backseats seemed empty as well, nothing was out of place or useful.

He looked out of the car window to figure out where they were going, but he wasn’t familiar with this part of the town, the road was dark and stranded save for the streetlights, there weren’t any road signs to help him figure out where they were at or where they were headed.

“Have you ever lost a friend?” Kuroro’s even tone broke the silence for a few seconds.

“No.” Killua replied, noticing the car was coming to a stop to the side of the empty road.

“I had different plan in mind for us.” Kuroro started putting the shifter in neutral “This isn’t how this was supposed to happen. But things happen, and plans change…” Kuroro was saying more to himself than Killua.

As Kuroro rested his head back on the headrest, all Killua was thinking about was the pocket knife he had on him, and started to reach for it quietly, his clammy palms trembling and his legs feeling too heavy and numb to move.

A few more seconds passed, that seemed like an eternity as he waited for Kuroro to say or do something.

“I lost my friend today.” Kuroro finally said.

Killua’s hand relaxed around his pocket knife, “I’m so sorry.” he slowly let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in, “I didn’t know… I—“

“He was one of my closest friends,” Kuroro started as his hands moved anxiously up and down the steering wheel, “He died a terrible death… He was ambushed by someone who had a grudge against him… against _me_ ,” Kuroro’s eyes became glassy, but his voice didn’t waver.

“I lost another friend, back in the day. He was killed by an assassin.” Kuroro chuckled slightly “I was your age when it happened, and I couldn’t get over it, I still haven’t.” He was still as a rock, his eyes glazed over.

“I still feel him around me sometimes. Now he has Uvo to keep him company.”

Kuroro wiped the tears forming in his eyes and continued, “Do you know how fucked up this world is? You probably don’t; you’ve never even left your house on your own before. But _me_ , I have to bury my own best friends, because it’s etiquette, tradition. _The_ _social norms_. I’m supposed to carry my friend’s coffin, because this fucked up world doesn’t even humor you with enough time to grieve by yourself. To fucking _cry_ , to _remember them_! You have to present your loved ones with an appropriate burial or you don’t admire or respect them enough. I’ll be the pallbearer to my own friend, _again_.”

Killua was looking down at his feet, throat dry and tight, his limbs were too cold and heavy, listening to every word Kuroro said, each landing in his heart like a stab to his chest, leaving a dull ache behind to linger.

He knew he couldn’t do anything to help him, he couldn’t bring his friends back to life, he couldn’t wipe his tears away as if it isn’t condescending his hurt, because no matter how much he could wipe his tears away, he wouldn’t able to stop them.

He couldn’t wipe Kuroro’s hurt away.

All he could do was talk to him.

“Maybe… Maybe it isn’t such a bad tradition.” Killua started, though he tried, he wasn’t able to hide the crack in his voice. “I think you should be the person to pick your friend up for the last time. I wouldn’t be able to let just anyone who doesn’t understand how much love I have for someone, be the one to come anywhere near them, let alone carry their coffin.”

Killua looked up from his feet and over to Kuroro, who was looking back at him, intently, inspecting him, his shoulders were rolled down, his eyes were red-rimmed, and for the first time since he met him his gaze was soft, almost helpless.

“I’m not a bar owner.” Kuroro declared.

Killua’s brows shot up at the unexpected interjection, “I kinda figured that out.” Killua replied, to which had Kuroro looking somewhat inquisitively.

“How did you figure that out?”

“Illumi isn’t in a line of business where he would meet and befriend a bar owner.” Killua admitted and Kuroro chuckled, sniffling and wiping his eyes with his fingers one last time as he breathed out slowly.

The tense air seemed to finally lift off.

“Do you want to know what I do?” Kuroro asked as he started the car again.

“Yes.” Killua saw that Kuroro was driving back from the direction they came from.

“Have you ever heard of the Phantom Troupe?” Kuroro asked.

Killua remembered the name vaguely, his father had mentioned them to him before, warned him to not accept any contract with them or get anywhere near them, “Yes. My dad once told me about them.”

Kuroro chuckled dismissively, “I’m their leader.” he said.

Killua was stunned, out of everyone in the world, he was in a car with the Phantom Troupe leader. He had snuck out against Illumi’s instructions, and willingly gotten in a car with this man.

But he wasn’t in deep shit with just Illumi now, if his father found out…

Kuroro seemed to notice Killua’s tenseness and went on, “Now that you know who I am and what I do, I’ll have to kill you.” Kuroro admitted as he came to a stop closer to Killua’s house than the skating rink, “But I trust you enough not to.”

Killua’s mind was running wild, he was overthinking every word he had just heard, to the point that he failed to realize that Kuroro already knew the address to his house.

“I hope to see you again, sometime soon.” Kuroro started, as Killua opened the car door. “But don’t ever lie to me again.”

Killua looked back at him for the last time that night, and smiled. “I won’t.” he said and closed the car door behind him, walking down the road to his house.

The sky was turning a dark shade of purple as the sun was almost rising, the morning cool breeze was making him shiver as he quickened his pace and looked around him to see if anyone was around to catch him sneaking back in.

Killua laid on his bed, and snuggled to one of his pillows, underneath his blankets, his body was feeling lighter and his eyelids growing heavier with each passing second.

This night had gotten a lot more interesting than he planned for it to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter xx  
> Comments, questions, concerns?


	3. Hellfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We can do this your way, if that’s what you like, I have all the patience in the world!” Gon yelled after him, and he rolled his eyes, glad that he had his back to Gon as he walked away so the latter wouldn’t notice his smile.

The weather was turning colder with every passing day now, and the sun was setting much earlier than it did just a couple of weeks ago.

The sky was all hues of beautiful yellows, oranges and purples in light of the sun setting beyond the mountain horizon that the Zoldyck house’s terrace overlooked.

There on that terrace Killua was situated with his laptop by his lonely, sitting at the ceramic table, the panoramic windows that looked into his house were already lit up across from him, as were the floor corner lights that were placed at every corner around the terrace, shimmering with a yellow light and illuminating the area, keeping the anticipated darkness at bay.

Killua had been sitting outside for a while now, he demanded for Gotoh not to bother him come dinner time, which seemed to arrive earlier than he expected.

Killua was spending the twilight researching the infamous Phantom Troupe with help from his brother Milluki, who had only agreed to it in exchange of a hefty bribe of limited edition video games and weird looking, suggestive figurines.

The first was to help him hack into extremely protected data systems and the latter was for him to keep his mouth shut.

And even with the help of someone as tech-savvy as Milluki, Killua was still coming up somewhat empty-handed with his investigation.

What little Killua found on questionable sites wasn’t what he was after.

He couldn’t find anything about the members’ identities, how many there were, or the location of their base, there weren’t even pictures of all of them. Certainly no pictures of Kuroro.

What he did find was that the group was ostracized by the entire underground world and had no ties with any major underworld originations ran by the mafia community, and was facing countless legal charges for a variety of heinous crimes, which was one of the reasons he ordered the butlers to turn up the heating one too many times, unable to rid himself of the chill that ran up and down his spine every so often.

He also found out the Troupe members had tattoos and rings that held a corresponding number for each of them.

He wondered what Kuroro’s number was, and why he never noticed a tattoo anywhere on him or a ring around his finger.

But what seemed to be the most recent and recurrent bit of information about the Troupe was the recent murder of one of their members, which occurred last week; probably the friend Kuroro has had a breakdown over in front of him last week.

He found out where he was presumed to be murdered, which wasn’t too far out of town.

This research was definitely not a one day job, he finally concluded.

Killua closed his laptop, sitting in silence, dissecting the information he just acquired and what it all meant to him.

The man, who he snuck out to meet at night, in spite of his father’s orders not to, was a dangerous criminal, the _most_ dangerous criminal in fact, at a level where not even his father would accept to be associated with him.

Up to this day, he thought his family was the most monstrous organization to exist, but man, was he wrong.

And what was Illumi’s connection to him? How did he come across someone their father banned them from interacting with on any level? Illumi definitely wasn’t the ignorant type, and he wasn’t foolish by any means of the word, which only meant that he willingly befriended this man, knowing all too well, he was blatantly disobeying their fathers’ orders.

Why was he even on a mission that required him to leave for a month? He rarely accepted missions that claimed a long duration of his valuable time, yet for this mission he barely even gave the family any information about his whereabouts, arguing that it was safer and easier this way.

No one argued with Illumi, or interrogated him further about it; as if it didn’t even matter.

Just when he needed Illumi the most he couldn’t find him.

Illumi had certainly changed through the past few months, but then again Killua could never put a finger on what was so different about his eldest brother.

He was always out, sometimes not returning for three days at a time even without a listed mission on the family’s calendar.

Illumi never used to hide anything from Killua, as a matter of fact, Killua learned things about Illumi from Illumi that he never needed or wanted to learn.

Killua had to usually beg to get some time away from his brother, but lately it seemed that he saw him a lot less than what he was accustomed to.

Memories of his childhood started to flash through his mind uninvited, as it frequently happened when he thought about Illumi lately, some vivid, some too hazy to make out their edges clearly.

He could clearly remember his first day at school, and how no one bothered to drop him off other than Illumi who told him that he was leagues above the taught syllabus and that he had nothing to worry about inside the frightful school building.

Illumi also picked him up that day and took him to buy a new pair of shoes that he was obsessing over, and to have some ice-cream.

When he arrived home, his mother was losing her shit with delight over the fact that he went to school for the first time, the dinner party she threw him that night had was a historic day in the family due to the number of casualties she caused in the serving staff.

But she never bothered to ask him how his day was, what he learned, or if he had made any friends. Which he of course didn’t, not with his parents conditioning the administration to prohibit any student from interacting or socializing with him.

He also couldn’t forget the time Illumi broke his leg and he ended up in crutches for weeks after he stomped his foot as a protest caused by exhaustion due to Illumi working him over too hard with his homework.

After a while, the loneliness was getting to him at school, as were the words of the other students who were calling him all kinds of names from a freak to a snobby brat. Illumi’s words of encouragement that day made no difference to him, considering that Illumi wasn’t forced to attend school like he was and was mostly home taught like the rest of his brothers, but he appreciated the amount of time Illumi spent trying to convince him that there was nothing ever wrong with him.

Come to find the next day that a few teachers were fired and some students were expelled.

He also remembered when Illumi was behind firing a child services’ benevolent worker who went against all odds to try and help a child in need, when she singled him out of the crowd of students once she noticed the whipping marks on his face, trying to find him a better home, knowing fully well who his family was, she was left to fend for herself and children, jobless and defamed. That was Illumi, too.

Some things about Illumi were unforgivable, but he could never deny how much he loved him and how much he was valued by the eldest, even if he had an inhumane way of thinking about him.

He sometimes felt like Illumi’s unbearable, constant presence around him constituted as a safety blanket to him.

The only one time Illumi had ever disobeyed his parent’s was the time he let Killua feed a bunny he found in his family’s property daily.

And now, if Kuroro wasn’t lying, Illumi was probably dating someone, without their parents’ permission or knowledge. Befriending one of the few people their father had warned them about.

This was nothing like Illumi, and it made no sense whatsoever.

Even Kuroro seemed too good to be true in his mind, after what he found out.

“Onii-chan! It’s time for dinner!” Killua heard Alluka’s voice snapping him out og his thoughts as she ran over to him climbing into his lap with a stuffed animal in her hands.

“Hey Alluka, I’ll be right there.” Killua said, petting her head and playing with her hair.

“First, you have to kiss Mr. Hugsenschlag.” She demanded, shoving the stuffed animal in the shape of a baby chick with a scar on its brow, in his face.

“Sure, Alluka.” he kissed the top of the stuffed animal, removing his reading glasses and rubbing his strained eyes.

“Onii-chan, are you okay?” Alluka asked concern evident in her small voice, lifting her head up to get a better look at him.

“Yeah, I just had a lot of work to do, I’m a little bit tired.” Killua lied with a smile, beckoning Alluka to hop off of his lap as he stood up making his way back inside while holding her hand.

“Okay. I think we’re having duck confit and truffles for dinner. Finally something other than sea food” Alluka said enthusiastically, walking next to him, “It’s really hot out here.” Alluka pointed out looking around the terrace as they entered the indoor area.

The next day, Killua woke up earlier than usual, to complete the plan he had assembled just last night before Gotoh came to his room to call him down for breakfast and to drive him to school.

Once finished with his solo mission, he snuck back into his room, already dressed in his school uniform from before leaving, and hiding his prized position under the wooden panel that he once dismantled to hide whatever he wasn’t allowed to have from his family.

“Killua-sama, it’s time for breakfast.” Gotoh announced standing at his door.

“Okay, I’ll be down in a minute.” Killua replied, taking one last look in the mirror, straightening his button up collar under his navy blue uniform sweater.

Gotoh walked over to the balcony of Killua’s room, sliding the sliding-door shut, “You should remember to close the door, young master; the cool breeze could cause you to fall ill.”

Killua understood Gotoh’s implication through the unspoken words he held back from his master, Gotoh wasn’t an oblivious, newly hire around the mansion, he knew Killua and his antics like the back of his hand, and this was as far as he would be willing to go to advise Killua to stop sneaking out, or better yet to be more cautious about it.

“You don’t have to worry about it,” Killua snapped smugly, putting on his clean, shiny navy dress shoes and walking out.

The school day started like any other, it was the last day of Ocean week, as every week would have a specific dedicated theme to teach all subjects through, a method of teaching the school took pride in.

Killua was going to miss the oceanic themed decorations and the aurora colored projections of the rippling ocean waves that flowed against the school hallways walls, what he wasn’t going to miss though, was the math test they had that day.

Killua sat in his assigned seat in the second to last row in the back of the class, he was mostly going through his phone or lost in thought gazing out of the window at the school’s green field outside.

“Good morning, class,” Mrs. Kruger greeted the students pleasantly, “Today, we have a new addition to the class, this is Gon Freecs, Professor Ging Freecs’ son, who generously and continuously donates to help our school…”

Killua was zoning out of whatever Mrs. Kruger had to say, looking at the new kid, who stood smiling somewhat flustered as she introduced him to the class.

Gon looked polished, donning the school uniforms navy blue sweater vest overtop the white button up shirt, his hair was pulled back in a spiky-do, he looked buff, handsome and friendly.

“Please take a seat Mr. Freecs,” Mrs. Kruger said finally, and went on to teaching the class.

Gon made his way to the back, and sat next to Killua, pulling out his binder and starting to take notes, he looked Killua’s way and flashed him a smile, “Hey, I’m Gon,” he whispered at Killua.

Killua looked him over once more and decided to ignore him, not even humoring him with a greeting or an introduction, this new kid had to learn that it isn’t so easy to blend in here, shifting his attention back to his phone, he noticed through his peripheral vision that Gon looked disappointed and went back to taking notes again.

Once English class was over, Killua collected his things and made his way out of the classroom and through the hallway, he had a permission slip to skip gym class, since it wasn’t crucial for his diploma.

As Killua was heading outside he noticed a figure jogging over to him, casting a shadow over him, he looked up to notice the same Gon guy who was sitting next to him in English, who had apparently followed him out.

“Can I help you?” Killua asked, cocking a brow at Gon who was standing too close for his taste.

“Yes, you can,” Gon said, with an optimistic tone, “It would really help me if you told me your name.” He flashed a pearly-white happy smile at Killua.

“How would that help you, exactly?” Killua scoffed, examining Gon’s face from closer proximity, he had some freckles across his nose, his eyes shone like a honey, hazel, and caramel sweet delicacy under the sunlight framed with thick, long black lashes that tapered out at the outer corners of his eyes, and he had a determined look on his face, like he was sure to get Killua’s name, Killua reveled in wiping that determination clean out his eyes.

“I need it to save your number under it, how else would I be able to call you to ask you out tonight?” Gon said plainly, like it was the easiest thing in the world as he shifted his weight from his right leg to his left, feigning coolness and failing under Killua’s experienced eye.

Killua took in his buff physique, looking him down, “You think you’re very charming, don’t you?”

“I’ve been told so before, many times, actually.” Gon replied, licking his lips pleasantly through a smile.

“Whatever,” Killua dismissed him walking away to his secret spot, behind the school’s main building.

“We can do this your way, if that’s what you like, I have all the patience in the world!” Gon yelled after him, and he rolled his eyes, glad that he had his back to Gon as he walked away so the latter wouldn’t notice his smile.

The rest of the day was uneventful, except for lunch, where Killua noticed Gon sitting at a table with a bunch of people, which was surprising to say the least, Killua attended this school all through his schooling career and he still barely had anyone to call a friend or exchange pleasantries with, save from a few people he was allowed to talk too, who were intimidated by the school faculty into helping him with anything he might need help with, since he was the most high profile student they had at this school.

Other than that, the math test sucked, and he was invited via email chat to a bonfire event after school, held by a student to welcome all new kids who recently transferred to their school.

All of that taken into consideration, the most pressing issue at hand was Kuroro not texting him back since this morning after Killua asked him how he was, Killua spent his whole day checking his phone waiting for a reply, and almost got kicked out of the classroom for checking his phone during the math test.

“So, where do you live?” Gon asked as he walked with Killua towards the parking lot, after he caught him passing the football field.

“You’re coming off a little stalkery you know,” Killua replied, quickening his pace a little.

“I just want to know if we’re in the same bus,” Gon replied, “I could use the time on the bus to get your name and number, which you still haven’t given me.”

“I have a driver, and I don’t see why I should give you either.” Killua replied.

“How cool,” Gon replied, “You’re coming to the bonfire thing?” Gon asked matching Killua’s pace.

“I don’t know yet,” Killua replied, scanning the parking lot for a sign of his private car and finding it at the other side of the parking lot.

Gon quickened his pace a touch and cut Killua off, standing in front of him, “I think we came off on the wrong foot, and I hate that. I would really love to get to know you better, since I heard you were one of the top students here, but if it’s too much, I’m really sorry. I don’t want to put you in an uncomfortable situation.”

Killua was considering Gon’s words, at first he seemed annoying and childish, but he seemed genuine as well, it didn’t matter anyway, he could give him his number and ghost him if Gon was annoying and pushy later on. “Fine, give me your phone.” Killua had to stop himself from rolling his eyes at how much Gon was beaming victoriously as he reached for his phone.

“I’ll talk to you late…” Gon checked his phone after Killua handed it back to him, “Killua,” Gon read out loud the name Killua programmed into his phone, “That’s a pretty name, I’ll see you later, I have to get to the bus in time.” Gon finished jogging away towards the parked busses.

Since Gon didn’t waste any time in texting Killua and convincing him that he had to come to the bonfire thing, Killua had decided he should, because otherwise he would spend the remainder of the day waiting for Kuroro to text him and that would be taxing.

So, he convinced Gotoh that it was a school event, and attendance was mandatory for all students, which Gotoh agreed to and as a compromise he informed him that he would wait for Killua around, close to the event’s location.

Killua spent the first ten minutes of the evening checking his phone for service or a reply, until Gon found him and introduced him to everyone he already got acquainted with.

Killua remembered seeing most of these people before, he had a hard time remembering their names though, even after Gon just introduced him to them a few minutes ago.

Gon went off somewhere to get them drinks, and returned a few minutes later holding two red plastic cups, handing Killua one of them, “Who are you texting?” Gon wondered leaning over Killua’s phone to get a better look, to which Killua turned off his phone screen quickly, “Nobody!”

“Oh… So, are you from around here or did you move here?” Gon asked

“I’ve lived my whole life here.” Killua answered concisely.

“Oh, cool! I just moved here, I used to live in a different country; on an island actually...” Gon started taking a sip from his cup.

“Really? And what brought you here?” Killua asked surprised.

“I was enrolled in school through my dad, he did a lot of work for this town, and I received a scholarship in exchange of his work.” Gon told him, leading the way to find seats for them around the fire, Killua followed him still concentrated on his phone.

“What does your dad do?”

“His an archeology professor mainly. He’s so awesome, I’d love for you to meet him one day.” Gon said all too enthusiastically.

“That’s cool.” Killua admitted, “So, you didn’t get in for your grades?” Killua wondered.

“No, actually I have 4.0 gpa but this school doesn’t offer scholarship programs for high grades…”

As Gon was going on about his life, Killua felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, he checked his phone to find a text from Kuroro. A text that read, ‘Sorry about earlier, I was a little busy. Can I meet you tonight?’

“…I’m also on the football team, but I want to become an archeologist, too.” Gon said.

“That sounds fun, how do you have all of that figured out already?” Killua asked him incredulously, simultaneously thinking of a reply that he was typing into his phone.

‘Sure, I’m by the lake for another hour, can you swing by?’ Killua sent the text and received a reply instantaneously.

‘I’ll be there in 10’

“You know, I’m glad that I got to know you, but I gotta run.” Killua said getting up and leaving a stunned Gon behind him.

Killua ended up sitting with Kuroro on a boulder a little far off from the bonfire’s main location where everyone else was gathered.

“What is this?” Kuroro asked as Killua handed him a red plastic cup.

“Cheladas.” Killua replied, sitting next to Kuroro, indian style.

“You look good.” Kuroro said, slightly pulling the leather pants’ fabric that covered Killua’s outer thigh and letting it snap back on his skin.

“Thanks…” Killua said, feeling the heat rush up to his face quickly.

“I thought you didn’t go out to public events.” Kuroro said, taking a gulp from his beer.

“I got my parent’s to agree, in return I don’t get to stay out past ten, and my driver is waiting for me in the car around the corner.” Killua said, pointing over to where Gotoh was probably parked.

“Were you enjoying your night?” Kuroro asked.

“Not really, a guy at school kept pressing me to come, and I figured it’d be more fun to go out than to stay home,” Killua said, turning to sit facing Kuroro. 

“I did some research…” Killua started after a few beats, giving Kuroro the time to process what he revealed to him.

“Oh really?” Kuroro chuckled, “And what did you find?” Kuroro asked, amused.

“Not a lot, honestly.” Killua shrugged turning his attention to the scene of people partying and making out not too far away from them. “Just some trivial things.”

“What kind of trivial things?” Kuroro pressed.

“Well… There are twelve members in the Troupe, they each have a numbered tattoo and a ring…” Killua started looking back at Kuroro to see him looking at him excitedly with raised brows, “That’s all I could find.” Killua ended, drinking from his cup.

“That’s us,” Kuroro said. “Maybe someday you can meet them” He added.

“Oh right!” Killua said reaching into his pocket. “I didn’t know when I’d see you next but…” He fiddled to pull out a small box, “I got you this.” Killua said with a grin.

“What?! You go this for me?” Kuroro sounded pleasantly surprised, taking the small, red velvet jewelry box that Killua offered him.

“Open it.” Killua said, eagerly, and Kuroro complied.

However, his expression wasn’t what Killua expected, his face demeanor quickly changed from upbeat to shock.

“Where did you get this?” Kuroro’s tone was laced with venom, not meeting Killua’s eyes, after he’d seen the ring his former member had worn in the jewelry box.

“I went over to the location listed on the site and looked for it…” Killua was trying to gage Kuroro’s reaction which wasn’t what he had expected, he seemed more taken aback than glad about Killua’s gift, though Killua invested a lot of effort and time, risking being caught in the early morning by Gotoh while searching throughout the valley area where the murder took place as was mentioned on the site to find this specific ring, and somehow he was in the wrong.

“You _can’t_ just go around a murder scene and look for a token! Do you understand how dangerous that is?!” Kuroro’s voice was rising in volume, and Killua felt like he was standing in front of dam that was slowly giving out before him, threatening to flood and drown him, but he wasn’t one to back down.

“It doesn’t matter where it was, I went there because it’s important for me that you should have it back! And I don’t appreciate you getting up in arms over something unimportant.”

“You are just a child. You don’t go to places like that by yourself. Understood?” Kuroro’s tone was more challenging and threatening, he was leaning closer to Killua.

“I’m not just a child! I’ve inspected more crime scenes than any law enforcement agency you can think of!”

Kuroro fell silent, rubbing his temples with his fingers, eyes closed. After a few seconds he chugged down the rest of his cup and threw it across the lake forcefully, “Okay, we’re not getting anywhere with this, let’s try this again…” Kuroro started turning towards Killua, “New rule, you can’t hide things from me, anymore.”

“What?! You literally hid your identity from me! How does that make sense?” Killua crossed his arms, his pitch loud enough to be heard by the couple making out not twenty feet away from where they were sitting.

“It doesn’t need to make sense, but it is how things work.” Kuroro said sternly, looking into Killua’s eyes. “If you can’t agree to that, we can’t keep doing this.”

“Fine, whatever! Then you can’t hide things from me either.” Killua said, creating the perfect compromise he could think of.

“I have to hide things from you, because you lie to me.” Kuroro said.

“I wouldn’t lie, if I didn’t feel like something was being hidden from me.” Killua presented his infallible argument, he’d love to see how Kuroro would rebut it.

Instead of keeping up with the futile argument like Killua expected Kuroro to do, he felt a hand wrapping firmly around his forearm and pulling him even closer towards Kuroro, Killua’s face was inches away from Kuroro’s, almost close enough to read the man’s sentiments through his stern, assessing gaze, physically close enough to be sat in his lap, he could feel Kuroro’s breath beating down his cheek, their eyes met, and locked into a deep stare, Killua’s mind was racing, a part of him, the morbidly curious one, that seemed to never be sated no matter how close he got to solving his sought out mysteries that had consistently given him an indescribable rush, wanted to go on with this, find out what he was missing all these years, and the counterpart to this experience was eligible in every category to push him on to go through with it.

However, another part of him, the conscious, assessing part of him, made his surroundings all too intense all of a sudden, he could almost feel the people that were more than fifty feet away from them as if they were surrounding him, he could feel their eyes on him, hear their chatter in his ear, whispering and vowing to let his secret out.

Still, the pair of dark grey eyes, that were looking through him, right into his heart, and mind were overpowering all of his senses, all he could do was inspect and memorize every detail of Kuroro’s face, he could feel their hearts beat in sync together through their shirts, but he couldn’t feel the small distance between them diminish by the second.

And all of a sudden, as if he didn’t expect the following action, Kuroro’s lips closed on his, and his eyes involuntarily shut, as he felt the soft, asserting lips crash against his, the hand enclosed around his forearm moved it out of the way and around the elder’s waist, as Kuroro seemed to lose his sense as well going into it, the older man’s other hand, raised to cup Killua’s burning hot cheek, Kuroro’s thumb moved to his chin softly pushing down on it, to help coax Killua’s lips to further part, while Kuroro pushed his tongue past his lips, inspecting the crevices of his mouth as if his mouth held the secrets of the universe and Kuroro was a heartbeat away from obtaining them.

Killua could feel Kuroro’s teeth nibbling at his lower lip, his nibbles quickly turning into soft bites, and finally into full blown raw bites, his teeth pulling Killua’s lower lip harshly.

Killua felt his heartbeat race out of control, losing his breath even faster, he was instinctively leaning back, inviting Kuroro closer in, who happily obliged and followed suit almost lying on top of him, when he finally broke the kiss, examining Killua’s burning face, and heavy breathing, Killua’s eyes were fluttering, and he could feel his lips sting faintly, feeling the ghost of Kuroro’s lips and teeth that were seconds ago against them.

“I don’t want to do anything that you’re uncomfortable with,” Kuroro said staring into Killua’s eyes.

“I’m not—” Killua started to be quickly cut off.

“No, no, listen to me.” Kuroro started with an assertive tone, “I want to take you out, on a date.”

Killua couldn’t wrap his head around the events that had just unfolded out of nowhere, and he wanted, no needed to follow his heart and instinct. “Sure…” he mustered out in a breathy whisper, still trying to will his furiously beating heart to slow down.

Killua was startled by his phone ringing, which earned him a soft chuckle from Kuroro, he answered it to hear Gotoh’s voice on the other side, “Master Killua, you have passed your curfew, and you haven’t been answering my calls, is everything alright?” Gotoh’s monotone was mixed with fear and panic, that wouldn’t be easily detected by anyone who wasn’t as close as Killua was to him.

“No, everything is fine, I’ll be there immediately.” Killua answered, feeling the slow ministrations of Kuroro’s fingers running through his hair, and moving his bangs out of his face, all the while smiling tenderly.

Killua received the location’s confirmation and hung up, looking back at Kuroro, “Tomorrow night?” Kuroro proposed.

“Okay.” Killua whispered still under the spell previously cast on him by Kuroro’s soft caresses, sitting back up, and receiving a kiss to his cheek as Kuroro jumped off the boulder, and helped Killua down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry for the long wait, I have midterms right now, but I finished a few chapters already, I'll post them right after editing them.  
> As usual comments are always welcome.


	4. Dream Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Knock, and the joy inside
> 
> will eventually open a window
> 
> and look out to see who’s there.’ - Rumi, The Sunrise Ruby.

Killua sat in the study area with his books and stationary organized on his table, staring out the window zoned out and waiting for the dismissal bell to ring declaring the end of the school day.

He had a lot to prepare for his date with Kuroro.

They were going to go out somewhere undisclosed as of yet.

Thus far, he had never gone out on a date; an official date at that, hence the research he was conducting, and his intricate plan that was exemplified in a detailed written to-do list for the day.

He had to choose an outfit, come up with an excuse to skip dinner, tuck Alluka into bed—

“Killua! What’d you score on the math test?” Gon’s voice brought Killua back to reality crashing, he turned to find Gon seated in a tub chair to his right.

“What?” Killua asked confused and startled by Gon’s sudden, intrusive presence.

“The Algebra test? We got the results, didn’t you know?” Gon asked while setting up camp on Killua’s table and pulling out his laptop; way too comfortable for Killua’s liking.

“No, I didn’t. Is it emailed?” Killua asked trying to look for the grade’s report through his phone.

“Yes, we did. Wait, I’ll put in your name.” Gon offered as he typed on his laptop, Killua was learning to become more accustom with Gon’s insistent company since he was hard to fend off, no matter how much Killua tried.

“Alright! You got 83 out of a 100! That’s amazing!” Gon announcd loudly, making Killua take a quick scan across the room to see if they were disturbing someone.

“How much did you get?” Killua asked moving over to Gon, to take a better look at his score.

“I got a 95, we both did great, we should celebrate,” Gon said enthusiastically, “We can have lunch at my place; my aunt will cook!”

“You got 95?!” Killua retorted, “I thought you were a dumb jock, how did you get 95?”

“Well I’m full of surprises I guess.” Gon said, rubbing the back of his head laughing. “Which is why you should come have lunch with us, so you’ll get to know me better.”

“Good for you, and thanks, but I think I’ll take a rain check” Killua said as the bell rang, gathering his things and leaving.

Killua lay in his bed, thinking about his upcoming date, he had no idea what to expect, or what to be expected of him.

The only preparation he had made was picking out an outfit and shower, but he still had a couple of hours to meet with Kuroro, to his embarrassment he would have to meet him someplace other than his house, and then Kuroro would drive them to his chosen destination.

His parents would never allow Killua to ever go on a date with someone they didn’t approve of or chose for him, someone suitable to carry the Zoldyck family name as his mother so sweetly put it, which was probably the reason Illumi was hiding his relationship from everybody, yet he had the audacity to sit on his high horse barking out orders and demanding to forbid Killua from ever leaving the house by himself, much less to date someone. Maybe this man, Kuroro, was his only ticket out, and that’s why Illumi always tried to keep Killua banned from any human interactions beyond their family or the general staff, the latter to some distinct limits, too.

If someone as committed to their family, and family business as Illumi is, would leave it all and act out on rebellion, then Killua wasn’t the one to blame here. He had already made it clear to everyone, he wasn’t the one who should be leading the family’s upcoming generation, and now there was a guy who had taken interest in someone like him, to add fuel to the already blazing fire.

He only had a few more weeks left to spend liberally with Kuroro, before Illumi returns and suffocates him with training, contracts and school work, once Illumi finds out about his low scores he would definitely be prosecuted to the fullest extent possible for it, he had to make things work with Kuroro, if he played his cards right he could finally get his wish granted, and it wasn’t like he was bothered by his relationship with the man, he had never felt anything like he did the last time that they met, as he thought back to the feeling of Kuroro’s lips crashed against his with such fervor and passion.

He had never felt so wanted by anyone who hadn’t perceived him as an object to fulfill his family’s wishes and demands, a standard to overpass, a name, but not a person.

Yet, something felt amiss about his and Kuroro’s liaison, he kept feeling like it was too good to be true, like a dream of open fields of red roses and sunshine, and at any moment someone would wake him up and he’d go back to facing his grim reality.

He was still very anxious about the upcoming date for many different reasons, mostly since he had no experience in dating, other than watching people date in movies and through his latest research.

He didn’t want to end up embarrassing himself on his first date.

Everything he knew about it was the location and time to meet with Kuroro, who emphasized that he’d wear something fancy.

He took one last look in the mirror at his outfit, black leather loose-fitted, high-waisted pants, an oversized button up, smoky white shirt, that he tucked under his pants’ waistline; as fancy as he cares to get.

Killua waited at the agreed upon location for Kuroro’s car, that arrived just in time to pick him up, the car stopped, the driver’s door opened and the driver made his way to open the back door for him, once the door was opened, Killua could see Kuroro sitting in a black dress pants, and a white dress, silk shirt with the first few buttons open, revealing his collarbone and upper defined chest, his hair framing his face, and his bandana, for the first time missing, revealing a cross tattoo on his forehead, that Killua had never seen up until now.

Killua got into the car, noting the wafting scent of expensive cologne that filled the crisp air in the car, once he settled, Kuroro greeted him with a deep kiss, stealing Killua’s breath for short seconds as his eyes closed on their own accord.

“You look spectacular.” Kuroro said, while all Killua could think about was the fact that there was a very prominent tattoo on the older man’s forehead that he had never seen before.

“Where are we going?” Killua asked.

“It’s a surprise. You have time, right?” Kuroro said, handing Killua a glass of champagne from the mini bar.

“Yes.” Killua said, he had all night, but he didn’t want to voice it for some reason.

“Great,” Kuroro said smiling and leaning in to steal a quick kiss.

“What’s the surprise?” Killua decided to try his luck, while sipping his champagne, smiling back at Kuroro.

“That would defeat the purpose of the surprise, wouldn’t it?” Kuroro pointed out, pulling Killua closer to him, who in return broke eye contact, trying to get more comfortable.

“I guess. Your tattoo is really cool.” Killua observed looking at it.

“Thank you. I’m glad you find it… _cool_.” Kuroro said chuckling, running his fingers through Killua’s hair.

The car finally came to a stop, after what seemed like a twenty minute drive.

Kuroro turned to his door, opening it and stepping out of the car, just as it stopped, and five seconds later, Kuroro was opening Killua’s door.

Killua took Kuroro’s hand that he extended, stepping out of the car, he felt the cold breeze blowing around him, shivering for a second, before he was covered with Kuroro’s trench coat as he took in his surroundings; they were at an airport.

This wasn’t good.

“Let’s go.” Kuroro said walking off to the runway, leading Killua behind him still holding his hand, Kuroro’s trench coat that hung around his shoulders dragging on the ground.

“Where are we going?!” Killua questioned, anxiety rising in the back of his dry throat like bile, translating into goosebumps, covering his body.

“I told you, it’s a surprise.” Kuroro said simply, as they reached the aircraft’s boarding stairs.

Killua stopped in front of the boarding stairs, that gave way to a deluxe cabin from what he could see where he was standing, hesitant to step on the staircase, until he was pulled by Kuroro’s hand to walk up the stairs.

He was glad that Kuroro dragged him up the stairs, it felt like ripping off a band aid, and once he was on the plane, he was distracted by the warm temperature that protected him from the cold outside.

He was with Kuroro, he wouldn’t have anything to be afraid of.

The interior décor of the cabin was a luxurious range of whites and golds, from the seating area, furnished with white curved sectional seat that could accommodate ten people easily, a black marble table top across from the sectional, and black wooden credenzas surrounding both sides of the sectional seat.

Opposite the main seating area was two seats that sat across from each other cradling a single marble top table between them.

A double sliding, white door, embroidered with golden leafs separated their cabin from the next.

“Where do you want to sit?” Kuroro asked while tending the bar, and fixing two tall glasses of champagne.

Killua was still mostly worried about something happening while he was abroad the country, there was no quick way back home, in case something went sour on their little trip.

But he wanted to enjoy this, his first date, and with someone he liked a lot, and was very attracted to, from his looks, to his mysterious and confident nature, he was an enigma, a challenge Killua wanted to take on, and felt solely eligible of solving. He wanted to enjoy it, and he chose to do so. Tonight was exclusively his and Kuroro’s, and no one else’s.

He sat on the curved sectional facing the television, “Let’s sit here,” he invited taking the glass Kuroro offered him. “So, is this the surprise?”

“No, we’re not there, yet.” Kuroro said, sitting next to Killua, eyes quickly roaming over his figure, while he smiled down at him.

Killua felt the plane’s wheels come off the ground, its weight gradually decreasing, and the gravity’s pull slightly lessening, making his body feel rather lighter, the engines quite hum was almost inaudible, but the air pressure fluctuating was physically perceptible, helping his anxiety to ease a bit more as the plane finally lifted off.

He liked the feeling of the bubbly champagne fizzling against his lips, while he sipped the cold, misty, tall glass, that made his head as light as his body felt, his sensory system was in overdrive and the man next to him maximized the feeling all the more.

He felt an arm wrap around his shoulders, reaching his waist and making him snicker giddily and squirm away.

“You’re ticklish?” Kuroro observed amused, giving him another quick caress to his waist.

“Stop! It’s not funny.” Killua retorted, still laughing.

“Sorry for that,” Kuroro said lightheartedly, reaching his arm and resting his hand on Killua’s thigh.

The faint touch, held a more suggestive implication, causing Killua’s face to heat up in response as the skin beneath Kuroro’s finger’s, shielded only by the leather fabric of his pants, felt electrified, the sensation continually travelling through every working nerve ending he had.

“You’re precious,” Kuroro said, observing Killua’s reaction to his touch, “This reminds me…” Kuroro said, reaching in the inner pocket of his dress jacket, “This is for you.” He offered Killua a square, velvet, black jewelry box.

“Thank you.” Killua said accepting the box, examining it visually, it felt very heavy in his hands, “You shouldn’t have.”

“Of course I should, the finest company deserves the best.” Kuroro said, smiling.

Killua popped open the heavy lid of the box, to be met with a sparkling ruby red, pendant necklace, the red gemstone that hung from the delicate platinum chain was enormous. “Oh, Wow!” Killua exclaimed, looking baffled back at Kuroro, “It’s… it’s so _beautiful_.”

“It reminds me of you,” Kuroro started, shifting to take the necklace into his hands, opening the clasp, “It has a story behind it, as well. You see it’s called ‘The Sunrise Ruby’, it’s the rarest, purest ruby gem in the world.” He continued as Killua turned his back to Kuroro, so he can put it around his neck. “Its color reminded me of your coy expression, when I first kissed you.” Kuroro said, to which Killua felt embarrassed, and could almost be sure was blushing at.

“I acquired it through The Noble Gems auction; it’s one of a kind, just like you.” Kuroro said, sipping his champagne, his eyes softly admiring the view before him. “A poem was written in its honor, also.”

Killua checked the box to find an elegantly handwritten card in it that read;

‘Knock, and the joy inside

will eventually open a window

and look out to see who’s there.’

Killua could feel his heart skip a few beats, this was the most considerate, attentive thing anyone has ever done for him.

Whether or not this man acquired his gift in a legal way, nor its hefty price tag mattered as much as the thought behind it.

Kuroro had offered him a gift, fashioned and inspired by him, and his him alone; something Killua wasn’t accustomed to.

“It used to be a ring when I fell upon it first, but I had it refashioned to be even more unique—” Killua cut him off by kissing him, a result of boldness he never acted on before.

The kiss grew more passionate by the second, and as promptly as it started it stopped.

“I love it.” Killua said sincerely.

Kuroro smiled back at him.

The plane landed after an hour, and they both descended and were transported to Kuroro’s secret location of their date via another of his cars.

They arrived at a hotel, and were escorted by Kuroro’s private butler to the top floor of the hotel, it was a beautiful event room, with cream colored walls, crimson red curtains that covered the panoramic windows, a fifty foot fireplace on the far left wall, a table for two in the heart of the room, covered with a red table cloth, and the most extravagant, sparkling, black chandelier that covered the entirety of the ceiling, with a large number of individual, black, crystal covered lamps.

Kuroro led Killua to the table, pulling the chair out for him to sit, and moved to sit across from him, they were instantaneously serviced with a champagne bottle and crystal, gold rimmed, champagne glasses.

“This is amazing,” Killua said taking the place in. “Are we alone here?”

“I’m glad you like it,” Kuroro said, pouring a glass of champagne slowly, as to not overflow with bubbling foam. “I booked the entire hotel, there is only my butler and my personal chef.” Kuroro said, as Killua received his glass, “I like to keep as less and as most efficient of company around me as possible.” He looked at Killua fondly and continued, “If you don’t like the venue or the food, we can go somewhere else.”

“No, I love it. It’s amazing.” Killua said, as plates of sea food started to arrive to the table “You’re really good at this stuff.”  
  


“Thank you,” Kuroro said as his butler placed a plate in front of him.

“Why are you so good at this?” Killua asked, speaking his doubtful mind and regretting his words immediately.

Kuroro laughed “I think of myself as an insightful person, so that’s why you might find me good at this. But I don’t usually do this.”

“You don’t usually go all out…?” Kuroro still had an amused look at Killua’s question.

“I don’t usually go on dates. It’s hard for most people to draw my attention” Kuroro said assuredly.

The man was definitely confident, borderline arrogant.

“What about you? Did you meet anyone recently” Kuroro asked.

“No, not really.” Killua said sipping his drink.

“Good to know.” Kuroro said, signaling for the butler to get the first course. “You are honestly a piece of work.”

“What do you mean by that?” Killua asked.

“Well, you obviously are an outstanding person, by every standard imaginable, but my favored quality of yours is how unequivocally complicated you are.” Killua was listening intently, it was the first time he had heard Kuroro speak so candidly, or speak about anything that was on his mind so far.

“I am very good at reading people and yet, I can never seem to manage to read you. I find that most compelling.”

“Do you mean that in a good or a bad way?” Killua wondered, the man didn’t talk a lot, but when he did he surely wasn’t very sensible.

“I mean that in the best way.” Kuroro said as the butler came to the table to refill their glasses, “You remind of myself a lot; had I lived a similar childhood to yours, yet I’m fascinated by how good of a heart you have.” Kuroro pointed out.

“How did you come to that conclusion?” Killua wondered, this man hasn’t known him long enough to know him like that.

“Well, you have a lot of leverage over Illumi as of now, considering you know he is hiding a relationship from your parents, and that he is working with me, yet you didn’t rat him out. I didn’t expect that.”

“Let me get this straight… You told me all that stuff about Illumi to figure out if I would rat him out?” Killua snapped, downing his glass to the hatch.

“Absolutely not, what I meant was, someone in your position and with your colorful past, it’s hard to understand how you wouldn’t hurt the person who had hurt you so badly, I can’t seem to understand your drive.” Kuroro explained plainly.

Killua didn’t know how to feel about what he was hearing, it seemed like Kuroro was hiding a very specific method of thinking behind his lack of expression; it wasn’t anything off putting as much as it was peculiar.

“You either have to be extremely empathetic or extremely dull to not want to exact revenge on someone who hurt you badly, and I know you to be very cunning, so it isn’t for lack of aptitude, it was because you didn’t want to hurt him back. I find that admirable and perplexing.”

Killua was shaking the champagne bottle to get the last drops into his already full glass, while the butler was already serving another bottle “I’m not like that.”

“I understand that now, it makes you as much of an enchanting being as it makes you a dangerous one.” Kuroro said.

“Well, what do you hate most about me?” Killua asked, slurring a little on his words.

Kuroro stayed silent for a few seconds, he looked as if he was weighing the option of telling Killua his honest opinion, “You’re obnoxiously loud…” He said finally.

“I’m **loud**?!” Killua snarled.

“Yes, and _at times_ , very bratty.”

“Well, you’re a cocky know-it-all.” Killua sneered, finishing his drink.

“Is that a playground insult?” Kuroro laughed out.

“Shut up!” Killua responded, laughing uncontrollably. “So what now?” Killua asked shooting a suggestive look, and showcasing more feline mannerisms in his chair, from his assessing, taunting gaze to his posture.

“Move in with me.” Kuroro proposed breaking the spell that surrounded the duo for a moment.

“What?! What do you mean?” Killua asked, baffled. He probably was misunderstanding the proposal.

“I want you to move into my house, and to live with me.” Kuroro with a level tone, putting his hand on Killua’s that was resting on the table, rubbing the back of it with his thumb.

“I-I can’t do that.” Killua answered puzzled, “My family would never agree to that… I don’t even—”

“I want you to think about it.” Kuroro started getting up and walking over to Killua’s seat, crouching down to be level with him, as Killua felt the alcohol settling in, he couldn’t focus his eyes for too long, and he felt more tingly all over. “No matter what your answer is, the offer is open-ended.” he finished, leaning in and kissing Killua to seal his offer.

Once they parted, Kuroro helped Killua stand to his feet, “We should get going if we want to be home in time. It’s getting late.” Kuroro said, leading the way out of the setting, Killua close in tow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, guys.  
> As always comments and constructive criticism is always welcome. x


	5. Stranger Danger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ll help you find someone better then, because if you’re not careful enough with choosing, the little kitten might end up too lost to find the way back home.”

“Killu? Finally! I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Milluki said barging into Killua’s room unannounced. 

“What the hell? You never learned how to knock?!” Killua shot back at the unwanted intrusion of his privacy, by non-other than Piggy.

“Whatever.” Milluki rolled his eyes at him, “Illu-nii contacted papa today, he’s extending his leave and that your scores are tanking.” Milluki said through a mouthful of chips that were crumbling through fistfuls and falling to the ground. “What are you doing anyway?”

“None of your business,” Killua snapped, “And what does that have to do with me?”

“Well, he informed Gotoh that you have to attend school held study sessions twice a week, he was emailed your scores. Also, mama was looking everywhere for you.”

“When?!” Killua asked.

“Like twenty minutes ago, we looked all around the house for you.” Milluki said annoyed.

“You didn’t think of coming to my room?” Killua retorted intentionally; there was always a chance to lie out of a situation, and if he was ever caught in a lie he would go down fibbing until he believed whatever story he fabricated himself, otherwise he might actually end up offed this time, especially if Illumi caught wind of what he had been up to the past few weeks.

“I did, you weren’t doing your weird meditation thing you’re doing right now on your bed,” Milluki said nonchalantly “I looked in the backyard, too.”

“Well, I guess we didn’t cross passes.” Killua lied, “I still don’t understand what you need from me.”

“Papa told Gotoh to draw together a new study schedule for you, he was really upset when Illumi told him about your grades.” Milluki informed him, walking around his room, looking through his video games collection.

“Okay, I got it, can you leave now?”

“Fine!” Milluki said walking towards the bedroom door. “It’s impossible to talk to you, I’m glad I couldn’t find you!” He said his voice gradually fading low as he walked out.

“What are you doing tonight?” Gon asked catching up to Killua in the school hallway.

“I have a party I have to attend.” Killua said walking up to his locker, and entering his code.

“But you have an early dismissal today, since your history teacher is absent.” Gon said, standing next to Killua’s locker door and leaning on it.

Killua started fazing Gon out as the latter started to ramble on about nonsense as usual, as he saw the tastefully assembled package in his locker; a red-rose assortment of boxed flowers, and a fancy, black chocolate box with a card that held the pass to the party Kuroro invited him to earlier that day, when he spent the early morning making out with him in the back of his car, a memory that snuck up on him for the third time today, sending heat down to his stomach and groin.

“Gon…” Killua started, taking a whiff of the red flowers.

“Yeah?” Gon looked over at the bouquet Killua held in his hands.

“How would you define a stalker?” He asked after putting a lot of thought into wording his question, still under the magic of the pretty flowers.

“Hey! I’m not stalking you! You told me about your early dismissal earlier today at breakfast, when I sat at your table, I remember because I asked you how your morning was, because you seemed a little more distraught than usual…” Gon went on rambling.

“I’m not talking about you! It’s just a question.” Killua explained his question to shut Gon up.

“Well… A stalker is stranger, or not even strange person, who follows you around without consent…” Gon said as they both walked out to the yard.

“So, what do you think?” Killua held two outfits in his hands, as two more lay on Gon’s bed, while Gon looked at them not seeing any difference.

“I think you look great in blue,” Gon said, pointing to the teal hoodie outfit.

“What?! I don’t have any blue outfits.” Killua said, examining what he was showing to Gon to make sure.

“Why do you care so much, anyway? Clothes are clothes, I’m sure you look good in anything.” Gon said in an attempt to finish the ongoing torture session, not understanding what the fuss was about and becoming more and more impatient to have lunch. “So, what is this party you’re attending?”

“It’s a business party, non-formal, vis-a-vis the shorts.” Killua said, pointing over to the outfit that lay next to Gon on the bed.

“Okay…” Gon pondered his options, still no obvious difference to him, but it seemed important to Killua. “What shoes are you wearing?” Gon asked finding a viable way out, to which he was faced with a drawn-out groan from Killua as he threw his head back in frustration.

“This isn’t working. I’ll try them on again, and you can tell me…”

“Killua! You look good in everything, I swear I’m not just saying that, you actually do.” Gon said raising his hands defensively as if Killua was going to attack him with his constant outfit changing.

Killua looked carefully at him, halting the process of removing the outfit from its hanger, he seemed uneasy and anxious in response to Gon’s words. “You’re a real weirdo.” He mumbled.

“Whatever, I’ll just pick an outfit later.” Killua surrendered, finding no outcome of their try on session.

“Can I ask you something?” Killua wondered, apprehension evident in his tone and the long pause that preceded and followed the question.

“Sure.”

“This might sound weird…” Killua started and fell silent immediately after, “You know what? Just forget it.” Killua said, getting up from where he was sitting on the bed next to Gon.

“No, tell me. Anything.” Gon interjected quickly, his eyes shining with careful empathy. “I’ll do anything to help, if I can. And if I can’t, I’ll find a way to help.”

“Okay, okay, fine.” Killua said, Gon’s long-windedness giving him more anxiety than his own train of thought.

“Well, here’s the thing…” Killua started, “I don’t know how to say this…”

“Just say it.”

“Well…” Killua paused, once again, “This might sound _really_ weird, and I get that. But…” Killua started, “Have you ever been with someone?” Killua asked finally.

“Romantically?” Gon asked confused.

“No, in every sense of the word, even…” Killua stopped, seeming too embarrassed to continue.

“Do you mean sexually?” Gon asked, his face lighting up with a smil and his eyes shining brighter.

“Forget it!” Killua said, standing up, to be pulled right back by the forearm by Gon. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be insensitive.” Gon said, “But yes, I have.”

“You _have_?!” Killua asked, his pitch rising with shock.

“Yes, I have, I’ve dated many people actually.” Gon said, “But I haven’t had many sexual experiences.” Gon mused aloud, pondering his every word as he said it. He was so weirdly honest, and as off-putting as it was, it was very endearing too. “Do you have a date tonight?”

Killua thought about it, he could tell Gon that he had a date, Gon seemed harmless, and not qualified enough to keep up with Kuroro if he accidentally let him in on his date’s identity, which he consciously wouldn’t, so no harm no foul in telling him.

“Yes, I do.” Killua said, for some reason Gon’s face fell, his lips were downturned and his brows knitted together, he also lost his enthusiasm all of a sudden.

“Well, if you want to take it to the next step, it’ll probably come naturally to you in the moment.” Gon said. “It’s important not to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

“What about my date?” Killua asked.

“What about them?”

“I don’t know…”

“Just be safe.” Gon said, tone soft, dejected.

“I’ll be careful,” Killua assured getting up again, “It’ll be a great party, I can feel it.”

“Can we go have lunch now? I’m starving!” Gon whined, stretching on the bed.

“Okay, let’s go.”

The party was anything but great.

Kuroro was swarmed with people all of the time, to be fair, he told Killua he might be busy for a short while during the first few hours, but what wasn’t clearly disclosed before the event, was the amount of women that were throwing themselves at him, from all different ages.

Killua was livid, he was holding himself back from walking over and throwing a hissy fit at everyone coming Kuroro’s way. But he couldn’t seem like a crazy, jealous, brat who didn’t know how to act in public.

All he could do was sit and look at how a tan, blonde, with a tight black dress, was feeling Kuroro’s bicep under his dress jacket, and laughing at everything he was saying.

She had shit tits that’s what Killua thought of her.

And her dress was cheap as hell.

And her hair was fried.

And she couldn’t hold her own in a fight, or assist Kuroro in a job if her life depended on it, and it soon will if her hand kept roaming further south.

And she probably didn’t care about Kuroro, or his feelings, she wouldn’t go out of her way to make sure he is happy, she would hurt him in a heartbeat if she found someone richer, or more handsome or suave.

“I guess it’s true what they say about house cats,” A man said, sitting next to him at the table that was assigned to Kuroro and him at the event. “If you leave the door open long enough, they’re bound to leave.” The man said drawling out with a silvery, honeyed voice.

He was sitting all too close to him, their shoulders almost touching, had the man wasn’t much taller, he had blood red hair, and a teardrop and a star drawn on his face, he looked as weird as he sounded.

“So, what brings a royal kitten like you to such a lowly place like this?” He asked, leaning even closer to Killua, and Killua couldn’t help but grimace at the cringe inducing remark, there were barely a few inches left between them, and flicking the ruby pendant Kuroro gave him.

“They promised a clown performance; that definitely sold me.” Killua replied referring to the man’s immature get up, the man held such creepy aura around him, but otherwise retracted his hand and stayed still, towering over Killua with mischief in his gold, narrowed eyes.

“If you behave, you might just get your own personal, private performance.” The guy said, sipping a martini and winking at him.

If Killua ignored him long enough, he might just leave on his own.

So Killua decided to do just that, looking around the room to find where Kuroro was now, but he was nowhere in sight. Perfect. Now he’s stuck with a colorful freak.

“Looking for someone else already?” The man voiced, “I guess a lowlife like me isn’t suitable enough for a prince such as yourself.” He said joining Killua in looking around the room, “I’ll help you find someone better then, because if you’re not careful enough with choosing, the little kitten might end up too lost to find the way back home.” The man said, putting a hand on Killua’s thigh and sliding it upwards.

Killua immediately pushed it away, jerking back reflexively in his seat, “Hey asshole, if you ever put your hands on me again I’ll break your face in.” Killua spat getting up and walking away.

“Be careful kitten, it’d be heartbreaking to see such a pretty little boy broken so early on!” The man yelled after him as he stomped away.

Killua was walking through the hordes of people, laughing, drinking, mingling and all being too handsy for Killua’s taste.

He felt a hand pulling him out of the crowd, once he was closer to the decorative ferns.

“What are you doing here?” Killua asked surprised as he saw it was Kuroro.

“Nothing, just needed some alone time.” Kuroro explained. “This thing is getting boring and repetitive.”

“And full of creeps.” Killua added as Kuroro looked over his head to see if someone spotted them and would come over to say hi.

“Yeah, I saw. That was Hisoka actually…” Kuroro said still unfocused on what Killua said, “Did he do something?” Kuroro asked, suddenly his attention was all Killua’s.

“He talked a lot of shit…” Killua said.

“He didn’t do anything else though?” Kuroro asked, his hold on Killua’s arm tightening.

“No, he didn’t. And if that’s Illumi’s boyfriend then I get why they’re dating in secret.” Killua said, Kuroro was looking around still as if he seemed to be looking for someone.

“Danchou, we’ve finished the job, what should we do?” A tall, tan man with blond hair and wearing tracksuit asked coming over to them, he was accompanied with a short black haired guy decked out in black.

“We’re leaving” Kuroro said, as more people came up to them, Killua could count six people huddled around them, a purple haired woman, a blonde tall woman and a blonde man with a bowl cut, he assumed they’re part of the troupe.

“Alright danchou, we’ll get the rest and leave.” The man who addressed Kuroro first said, they separated into groups and walked away.

“Do you want to stay?” Kuroro asked Killua, when they were left alone.

“No, I want to leave.”

“Okay, I’m ready whenever you are.” Kuroro said receiving his coat from the coat check as they walked together to the exit doors.

Killua looked back to see the Troupe grouping again, with more members until they were eleven, one of which was Hisoka, who looked his way and winked with a sly smile.

Killua was still sour about the previous events that ensued at the party, from the disgusting man Illumi was dating and how he felt him up in public to Kuroro flirting with countless people as he sat alone and waited for him, he said it was just business, but in all the years Killua accompanied Illumi to his missions, and networking events, he never saw Illumi having to flirt for business purposes once, of course Illumi is a liar himself, who forbid Killua from having any relationship of any type, while he was out there doing God knows what in public with a clown, so he could also be hiding anything from him.

That was less important right now though, because Kuroro lying to him and telling him that he doesn’t usually flirt or date felt a lot more personal and hurtful, he wasn’t expecting him of all people to betray his trust, he might be making a big deal out of something insignificant, especially since he had no experience in the dating arena, and maybe this was something normal, but he felt the way that he did, and he was feeling hurt.

He didn’t even know if he and Kuroro were exclusive, he had seen in movies that people have a candid conversation where they express their want to be together officially, and how significant this conversation was, sometimes being used as a loophole to justify cheating; so he couldn’t discuss how he felt openly, and even if they were exclusive, would him complaining about something that seemed to be a normal part of Kuroro’s life end things? What if he couldn’t give up flirting with people to help him with his work? And what would he think of Killua if he acted so unaware and childish? He’d think he’s a complex, overemotional kid who couldn’t control his feelings, just like everyone always told him.

So he decided to keep it to himself, which in turn translated into keeping to himself in general throughout the car ride, he hadn’t noticed that they hadn’t spoken since they’ve gotten in the car.

“Where do you want to go?” Kuroro asked him, breaking the silence, “We still have time, right?”

Killua peered over the simple question, he hadn’t an idea where he wanted to go, it seemed so unimportant, because if he doesn’t get over what’s going through his mind right now, he wouldn’t enjoy anything they would do.

“Did something happen back there?” Kuroro asked.

“No.” Killua replied concisely, he would get through it alone and find the answers to his questions on his own, no need to overexaggerate things.

“I would like for you to be honest with me about whatever that might be going on.” Kuroro said with an even tone, he sounded like Gotoh did when Killua was lying lamely to him.

“Why would you think something is going on?” Killua said trying to veer off of the subject.

“For starters, you didn’t hold my hand for the duration of the ride.” Kuroro said, and Killua hadn’t noticed that he didn’t hold Kuroro’s hand like he usually did when they were in the car together.

“And second, you were very pissy at the event, and now you won’t talk to me.”

“I just have a lot on my mind.” Killua said, with a long, deep sigh, face relaxed and lips pursed. He did act overdramatic sometimes without even meaning to.

“Like what?” Kuroro asked, parking the car. “You can tell me anything.”

“Like nothing. I’m not upset.” Killua said, returning to his safe emotional cocoon.

“Okay then. Do you want to come to my place?” Kuroro offered as an olive branch, trying to lighten Killua’s mood.

“Sure,” Killua said uninterested. “Might we find someone waiting for you?” Killua added rhetorically, to which Kuroro laughed and Killua was getting more pissed of.

“We might find someone.” Kuroro said teasing.

“Oh? Great. Maybe I could feel them up while you wait for me.” Killua said a decibel louder than necessary.

“What are you saying?” Kuroro’s voice was even and uncaring but showing the slightest hints of frustration, as if he was being faced with something he evaded hearing, turning to look at Killua.

“I’m not saying anything, we can go wherever, I don’t care.”

Kuroro waited longer, he wanted Killua to crack and lash out on his own so he could hear from his own mouth how Killua was feeling, and Killua knew this all too well, Illumi always used this technique on him, so he wasn’t going to give in.

“What can I do to make you feel better?” Kuroro asked.

“I feel great!” Killua retorted ending the conversation.

Kuroro leaned forward in his seat coming closer to Killua, grabbing his face with both hands and kissing him deeply, the kiss lingered for a few seconds and finally Kuroro pulled away when Killua didn’t respond whatsoever, still staring Killua in the eyes, who was very unentertained by the display of affection.

Kuroro pulled all the way back to sit in his seat exasperated at Killua’s feign indifference with a long sigh.

“I hope you know we’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’ll walk home then.” Killua snapped back.

“You’ll sit right there and tell me what’s wrong.” Kuroro said, his eyes focusing in on Killua, unwavering and turning more menacing by the second and his voice dropping the warm notes it held. “I’m not playing around anymore.”

“Sure, you’re not playing so I have to go with that, would you be changing your mind soon like you did before? Because I can’t stay out too long.”

“Change my mind about _what_ exactly?”

“ _You_ lied to _me_ , you don’t get to be angry, I do.” Killua yelled, trying hard to bite back the angry tears that formed every time he was pressured into opening up.

“About what?” Kuroro asked curtly, ignoring Killua’s overemotional display.

“You told me you don’t go fucking around with just anyone, you were practically in an orgy in that fucking party, but whatever, I don’t care, I just want to go home already.” Killua’s voice was gradually losing volume to try and hide the waver of his voice, and will his shaking hands to stop.

“I’m sorry.”

“Whatever.”

“No, not whatever, I’m really sorry. I didn’t think you would care about it, I was wrong.” Kuroro admitted, reaching to hold Killua’s hand, who pulled his away quickly as if it was touched with a hot object. “I don’t do this usually and I don’t lie.” Kuroro said matter-of-factly. “I realize the effect I have on women, and I had to use it for a job.” Kuroro continued and all Killua could think was, one day if a job required Kuroro being with someone then he would be, and Killua couldn’t handle something like that. “I understand it’s not fair to you, and I won’t do it again, I’m new to this too, you know.”

“You didn’t look new to this back in the venue.” Killua argued, ignoring the mushy apology to regain his cool.

“I’m not new to flirting or one night stands, I’m new to this.” Kuroro said holding Killua’s hand through Killua’s futile attempts to pull it away again.

“What exactly is ‘this’?” Killua wanted to clarify once and for all, he wasn’t the one who was going to look stupid the next time they might end up in a situation like this.

“Can we talk about this somewhere else?” Kuroro said after thinking it through.

“Whatever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this xx


	6. Cold Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you trust me?"
> 
> "No."
> 
> "Are you hiding something from me?"

Kuroro’s place was in a remote area, on the outskirts of town, a long way out of town.

Part of the road leading to it wasn’t paved, only framed by greenery.

Tall, dense trees that almost overlapped, their long branches entangled atop the car’s roof, Killua had to roll up his window not to let a twig snap and hit him in the eye as the car powered through the dense forest, the car’s wheels breaking the branches on the uneven ground beneath its wheels.

Once, the car emerged from the sprawling forest, the uneven dirt road continued, Kuroro drove up a mountain road, turning a right to a secluded area, hidden behind more greenery, the headlights shining a spot light ahead on what seemed to be a modern cabin which marked their end destination, hidden in the heart of the evergreen forests, standing alone on a green patch of land overlooking the town’s lake on a majestic green mountain cliff.

The cabin lights contrasted with the complete darkness of the unoccupied woods, giving Killua a clearer view of it, it appeared like a safe, lone haven within the darkened landscapes.

Kuroro stopped and stepped out of the car, moving over to Killua’s side, who opened the door by himself and stepped out stretching his legs, unwilling to give Kuroro the assurance that things were back to normal, yet.

He could smell the cold crisp, pine scented clean wood air, refreshing and relaxing his senses, and making it that much harder to remain infuriated.

In light of Killua’s display of insolence, Kuroro took Killua’s hand in his ignoring his eye roll, leading them closer to the cabin, that looked made of concrete and topped off with wood veneers, its roof extending a few feet from the main entrance, cradling the cabin even further underneath its lights.

Once inside, Killua took his shoes off at the door, and slipped the slippers on.

The feeling of the still, pine scented, dense air indicated that this place, lavish as it is, was rarely occupied by its owner, the bare, minimal aesthetic a more convincing proof.

The place was a modern design, though it was lavish and comfortable, it didn’t seem lived-in at all or decorated in any way that insinuated a personality type.

He was led by Kuroro to the adjacent seating area, complete with an authentic fireplace, and a well-supplied bar, where Kuroro headed.

After he poured two glasses of cognac and handed one to Killua, who graciously accepted it, the older man went to tend the fireplace, placing two logs of wood next to each other as the base to build the fire upon, and adding three more logs on top as a way to keep the fire alive for the longest time, he added fuel smelling liquid, and with a switch of a match, he lit the fire, it started off with slight, easily contained flames, and slowly started coming alive turning into a sizzling, crackling heat and light source.

The flames danced, higher and higher, while Kuroro stood opposite the fireplace tranquil, looking at the fire with zoned out eyes, the corners of his lips frozen downwards , squirting more fuel over the fire, to encourage it to rise higher, threatening to burst past the low metal railing surrounding it to light the place and its occupants ablaze.

Finally, Kuroro moved, keeping the dark room illuminated only with the burning fire and the backyard lights that were facilitated by the panoramic windows, Kuroro sat on an armchair, both feet resting on the floor, swirling his drink with one hand, the other resting comfortably on the armrest, tapping his foot to the slow music that played through the speakers softly.

He seemed as if he was the only person in that room in the remote cabin, the only person in this town, and in the entire world, as if their prior, immature spat never even taken place, or occupy enough space in his mind how it did Killua’s, which was what Killua dreaded and evaded knowing.

Killua sat silently, taking in the sight of the man sitting with his back to the windows, the fire shedding an ember glow on his face, as he enjoyed his solitude, they both continued sipping the cognac, and it finally hit Killua while he was observing the scene as it played out, the handsome man before him most likely needed more from Killua to help keep him sated and to attain his consistent, undivided attention. For him to be Killua’s and Killua’s alone.

Someone as grandiose and as statuesque as he was, someone who could get anyone he wanted and anything he pleased, was probably bored with Killua’s childish games of tag, he needed more, and Killua was willing and glad to offer it to him, in this room at this time.

With false audaciousness, Killua made his decision, based on want, instinct and a dull buzz that made his head lighter with thought and his skin tingly under his shirt and all over his limbs.

Killua who was sitting on the ground admiring the fire, started to slowly crawl towards Kuroro’s feet, all feline and sensual.

His eyes were fixed on the older man, Kuroro was still enjoying the slow music, when Killua was close enough to reach his hand and run it up under Kuroro’s pants, feeling his strong calves and how they stayed relaxed under his touch, the glass of cognac he was sipping sat on the ground where Killua was, abandoned and forgotten.

He still wasn’t sparing Killua a glance, his eyes closed, and head moving slowly every once and again to appreciate the slow beat of the music.

“You told me what you liked about me…” Killua heard his slurred, faded words as he explored Kuroro’s skin under his pants, still sitting on the wood-paneled ground, “But what do I like about you?” which gained him the attention he was seeking the entirety of the night.

Kuroro’s legs spread, inviting Killua to climb up his lap, as he gazed down on him, eyes burning with desire and promise.

As if he was telling Killua he already got what he wanted, whether Killua stripped in front of him tonight or not.

“Do you trust me?” Kuroro rested his glass on Killua’s lips, who sipped it passively, as he thought his answer through.

“No…”

“You’ll learn too.” Kuroro said still staring into Killua’s eyes, wiping a drop of cognac that hung dearly to Killua’s wet bottom lip with the pad of his thumb and continuing to rub his lip even after it was unnecessary, still holding his glass in the same hand.

Killua’s previous answer seemed more unsatisfactory than Kuroro let on in, since he had to initiate the first kiss, and he wasn’t receiving the passion he’d grown accustomed to in response. “Can we go to the bedroom?”

Kuroro sipped his drink languidly, looking at Killua still, “How so? You don’t trust me.” Came the reply with a barely there smirk, only detectable with the small crease under his probing eyes, the sound of the crackling fire breaking the following silence.

“But I want to.”

“Have you done this before?”

“No.” 

“Awfully generous of you to offer me your first time, when you have such brittle conviction of my intents,” Kuroro said, holding Killua’s face with one hand, the tip of his thumb slowly dancing across Killua’s cheekbones after resting his drink on the armrest, his eyes looked right through Killua’s. “I think we should go over what happened tonight.”

“I trust you enough.” Killua whispered against lips that stopped an inch away from his, unwavering, awaiting what they wanted to hear. “And I don’t feel like it.”

“You were making a fuss about it a few hours ago. Whatever changed your mind so suddenly?”

Killua chuckled in response, letting his buzzed mind navigate his way through the night to an uncharted location, the real answer, that he held in the confinements of his mind, was if he we were to talk about it again and not get the conclusion he was seeking he’s likely to lose control over his fragile emotional state, especially since he already was very fluent with his feelings and body that night, so he opted for a more composed, jab of an answer.

“You’re just glad I’m drunk. Isn’t that why you brought me here?”

Kuroro was running his cold, frosted glass over Killua’s jawline, and it was hard to keep from flinching at the sensation against his hot skin, his other hand was fiddling with his pants’ hemline.

“You should know better than that by now, had I wanted to have you, I could’ve; anywhere at any time before any number of people watching.”

Killua could feel repulsion build up inside him in the form a drying throat and a shiver running down his spine, surely he knew Kuroro wasn’t going to do that, the point was to put him in his place and shut him up, he gathered enough tells on Kuroro to help him realize what type of man he was, he was somewhat similar to his older brother, which was a nauseating thought per se, yet he was very different as well, his controlling demeanor wasn’t a product of lack of empathy and reason, Kuroro didn’t strike him as an apathetic person, but it was something else, and maybe being closer to him would help him find the answer.

“And why didn’t you?”

Kuroro didn’t answer him, even after more than a few beats had passed, the fiddling fingers between the skin of his lower abdomen and the hemline of his pants turned more demanding and popped open the button with ease, dragging his pants down roughly as it struggled and clung to his skin at certain parts, Killua was left dressed with his boxers and oversized top that reached and covered his mid-thigh.

“It would be barbaric of me to ruin your first night that way.”

“How’d you know it would be my first night?”  
  


“You’re too repressed to have been with someone intimately before.”

“You think you know _everything_.” Killua chuckled mockingly, shaking his head smugly as he felt one hand hook two fingers in his boxers and start to pull them down slowly but sternly, Kuroro leaned over Killua to help himself slide his boxers off better, tipping Killua’s back over the armrest, making his light head dizzier with the lack of stability beneath him as he was suspended in the air with nothing more than Kuroro’s strong arm supporting him.

He’d seen firsthand how caring and soft Kuroro can be with him, so his rough demeanor wasn’t a fruitful tactic to scare him, it was rather an indicator that Killua was finally getting to him, and if he kept up with his provoking acts throughout the night then it wouldn’t go down in his memory as being a helpless and vulnerable mess, he might actually keep some control in retaliation, but how much of that control was simply handed to him as means of pitying the inexperienced first-timer?

“Are you hiding something from me?”

Kuroro poured some of the glass’ contents with his right hand on the other’s pointer and middle finger, as he brought his hands together circling Killua in his lap, the liquid splattering down on the ground haphazardly, as Killua felt a very prominent hard on rubbing against the side of his thigh.

Killua focused inquisitively on the glistening digits for a few seconds before they disappeared behind him once more, just how Kuroro’s left hand was resting earlier around his waist, but for some reason it traveled further south, and snuck up between Killua’s mounds, prodding and teasing his entrance.

“No.”

Killua found his voice again after a wave of nervousness dissipated. He felt one finger enter him forcefully, tearing a surprised gasp at the feeling of pain and alien intrusion from his lips, he screwed his eyes shut, the sensation of pain soon dulling down to nothing more than a stretching sensation, he felt Kuroro’s lips on his neck, nipping and biting some spots, and dragging leisurely over others, making Killua shiver with anticipation of what was to come, a quick image of him getting fucked on the plush carpet flashed and disappeared just as quickly from his mind.

The second finger was more painful and the scissoring motion didn’t help ease his discomfort, he was becoming more hesitant about his decision with each passing second as he felt his muscles and walls tighten around Kuroro’s fingers with each movement as they were his fingers instead.

“I want to go to the bedroom…”

“Do you believe in destiny?”

Kuroro’s free hand seemed too soft not to be experienced as it caressed and teased the skin of his lower abs and hipbones under his shirt, too gentle not to have been aggressive before with some nameless person, it was evident he was holding back while Killua was becoming dizzy and disoriented by mere touches and kisses.

He was feeling uneasy for some reason, until the two fingers inside him curled against his walls making him stifle a treacherous whimper of pleasure that died in his throat beneath Kuroro’s lips, grabbing onto Kuroro’s shirt tightly, the fingers never stopped moving inside him, stimulating his soft spot, making his legs start to tremble, and his hard dick weep against the fabric of the shirt that still helped cover his nether regions, giving him a feeble sense of decency as he was being probed.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“God. I… I don’t know.”

Kuroro moved his fingers out slowly, leaving Killua to feel much emptier than before, “I believe in destiny,” he said as he moved both hands over Killua’s thighs to the hem of his shirt, moving it slowly over his head and tossing it to the side.

Killua’s nakedness was a spiteful contrast with Kuroro who was still fully clothed, taking in every inch of his naked form with a worshiping, ravenous gaze.

“I believe it was destiny that dictated that you spend your first night in my arms,” Kuroro said against his ear as his lips nipped softly on Killua’s earlobe, Killua couldn’t stifle his low moans anymore, so he tried to keep his voice to a minimum as expert hands danced over his exposed body, from his thighs to his hips to his nipples, Kuroro kissed him right above his left nipple once, and moved his mouth to suck softly on the already hard nob.

All Killua could do was shiver and whimper in response.

“Kuro…”

He felt the man shift under him to stand up and carry him, his lips smashing down on his, nibbling his lower lip mercilessly until Killua granted him entrance, wrapping his legs around his waist.

Once inside the bedroom, Killua felt the cool, still air cradle his senses, birthing goosebumps that covered the expanse of his limbs, he was lowered down on a soft mattress, Killua tried to unbutton Kuroro’s shirt but his attempt was cut short when Kuroro grabbed his hand firmly, moved it out of the way and went to unbutton his shirt himself pulling it out from under his pants where it was tucked neatly and throwing it to the side, he unbuckled his belt and pulled it out of the loops in one concise motion, his other hand caressing Killua’s sensitive abdomen, Killua felt a hand gather his left then right wrist and bringing them over his head to his surprise.

“What…”

“From now onwards you have to trust me. If you follow my voice it won’t hurt as much.”

The belt wrapped once, twice and then thrice around his wrists binding them to one of the horizontal poles carved deep into the bed’s wooden headboard and looping it through the metal buckle, securing it tight around Killua’s wrists.

Kuroro’s lips turned more aggressive as they moved down his neck, starting to latch onto his collarbones, promising him hideous marks for the following morning, as Killua experimented in tugging his wrists against the belt trying to loosen it but to no avail.

Kuroro’s lips left no inch of skin undefiled, anything below his neck was aggravated until Killua squirmed and gasped for air, his suspicion of the Kuroro’s hesitance confirmed when hungry teeth first latched on his collarbones, making him writhe in response at the pleasurable pain.

Leaving a trail of kisses from Killua’s earshell down to his navel, nibbling on skin that would be easily hidden under clothes the next day. A gentlemanly thing to do, helping him put unwelcome thoughts of being discovered to bed early on.

Kuroro tongued the amassing precome in Killua’s navel clean, his lips danced slowly over his hips and V-line, deliberately ignoring Killua’s leaking dick.

Kuroro reached into his bedside table and pulled out a bottle of lube from what Killua could see, craning his neck in an uncomfortable angle to get a glimpse from behind his suspended elbows.

Soon enough two slick fingers entered him once again, making him buck his hips in the air at the surprising sensation, but the movement of the two digits varied from earlier, tapping against his wall slowly until they found their objective then picking up pace quickly, making Killua arch his back against his restraints and into Kuroro’s strong chest, as he fought for air, whimpering softly behind forcefully shut lips that matched his tightly screwed eyes, his legs were trembling uncontrollably as he pushed them against the mattress to relieve some of the built up pressure, just to jolt reflexively every time the pleasure became a little too unbearable.

“You have to breathe.”

Killua heard against his lips as he felt the tip of Kuroro’s slicked dick against his hole, he braced himself for the pain to double in comparison to what he felt the first time he was fingered, but he still wasn’t ready for what followed.

Kuroro pushed slowly, and once the head popped inside of him, his eyes opened and he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood to hinder himself from letting out a scream.

“Breath.” Kuroro whispered in his ear, offering him no support as he continued to push inside of his writhing body, Killua tried his hardest to control his breathing being used to pain and knowing rather well how to lessen it by shifting focus to breathing, but he failed miserably as merciless teeth sucked his nipple while he felt his insides being stretched to no end as it felt like to him with every inch being pushed inside of him with disregard.

He felt darkness tunnel his vision, as Kuroro pushed all the way in, his limbs relaxing further, as he was losing grasp on his surroundings, and blackness covered his vision.

A sharp slap brought him back to consciousness, right before the last thread of reality broke.

“Breathe.”

“I’m… trying…” his voice was brittle and affected, as hot salty liquid covered his vision and trailed down his temples, leaving a damp track behind as it accumulated in his hair, the hot sting that bloomed on his cheek was more emotional injury rather than physical.

Kuroro stayed still after he was finally buried all the way deep inside of Killua, and after a few beats Killua felt his hole stretch enough as the pain started to dissipate gradually.

“You look divine,” Kuroro said as he took in his vulnerable form, his hair was definitely disheveled from burying his head into the pillows in a fruitless attempt to escape the pain and shame, his face was burning hot, and he was gasping for air as if he had just escaped drowning by sheer seconds.

Once Kuroro started to move, Killua felt his insides molding around his dick and giving way for his stabbing long thrusts.

Killua tightened his fists in their restraints his nails threatening to break the flesh as he felt Kuroro shift his position and touch the spot that threatened to make him ejaculate prematurely earlier that night, hitting it with every long, torturous thrust.

“What would Illumi think if he saw you like this?”

Killua’s face contorted in disgust thinking the idea through, imagining his lustful and vulnerable appearance and state, while his mind quickly tried to rid itself of such an unpleasant thought

“He’s not… here.”

Kuroro continued moving at a brutal, grueling pace, rocking Killua’s entire body with each thrust until his head touched the headboard, his arms becoming angled enough to shield his face behind.

“And who is with your right now?”

Killua heard and received a particularly hard thrust that made the top of his head bang the headboard painfully when he failed to answer the question in expected time as he basked in the exhilarating pleasure that emitted from within him and pooled down at the heal of his stomach.

“You are…”

“And who do you belong to?”

“…You.”

Kuroro’s thrusts picked up pace and ferociousness, as Killua’s body was rocked and shoved into the mattress on its own accord against the aggressive motion, he felt the pit of his stomach tighten with each passing second and every unforgiving thrust.

“I can’t… Kuro… I can’t…” He whined as he felt his pleasure increasing and lips smashing against his, it was a miracle the foot of the bed that supported them didn’t break yet.

“Open your eyes.”

Killua complied, though the task of keeping his eyes open seemed close to impossible, “I only want you to think of me.” He heard a whisper against his ear helping the amassing pleasure in the pit of his stomach crescendo into heights Killua never imagined possible.

And then, Kuroro kept hitting him right there, in the exact right spot, rendering him a screaming, trembling mess, as he brutally spread his legs even further trying to reach something unbeknownst to Killua, pushing his submitting body harder into the bed with the violence of his speeding thrust, kissing him with fervor, biting his tender neck, calling him ‘a good little angel’, while Killua couldn’t keep up with the different sensations anymore, the heavy, knot-like feeling gathering hurriedly in the pit of his stomach.

A wounded moan preceded his blinding orgasm, right after his vision went white and spotty, and his body gave out completely for that night as the last thing he heard was Kuroro whisper “Mine.” against his ear.

Killua regained his senses gradually, with the aid of soft kisses and sweet-nothings whispered against his ear, he opened his eyes to find himself wrapped in strong arms, back resting on muscular chest, as he lay on his side.

“How are you feeling?” Kuroro asked sweetly, after he came to, the room around him coming back into center, “I’m fine,” Killua said with a raspy voice, a glass of water was offered to him, he drank it and handed it back.

“Are you sure?” Kuroro asked, delicately rolling Killua on his back as if he’d break, Killua just nodded in response, the spell of the evening was finally broken into sharp pieces of glass, grazing, stabbing and drawing blood from his skin, as the memories of what had just happened rushed back into his mind quickly.

Kuroro smiled at him, whispered ‘okay’, and ‘you should get some rest’, as he moved out of the bed leaving the room, instead, Killua used the opportunity to cover his body with any article of clothes at his disposal, turning his back to Kuroro’s side of the bed, and feigning falling asleep.

Kuroro returned quickly after, and settled in his side, turning on a night lamp, Killua thanked his lucky stars that Kuroro didn’t bother to check on him anymore.

He replayed everything in his mind, wondering if it was too early to feel the claws of regret scratching at his already fragile state of mind.

He never imagined his first time being like this, animalistic and lust-driven, he always imagined it would be romantic and sweet, instead of being the pursuer, he always imagined being courted, and spoiled with affectionate gestures.

Instead of entering a dark unused room suddenly, he imagined talking for long hours about his feelings before he reached his decision of consent, sober and convinced, he would have been held through the night as he cried his broken heart out.

Loved, acknowledged by someone; someone who accepted him for who he was, not someone he accepted, the man sitting next to him, who sedated his hatred towards himself by being the worst human kind could possibly offer him, and now the memory of the night would be engraved in his puny mind forever, every time he went back to his first time in his mind, he would remember this cabin, the scent of the pine that settled with the dust that accumulated through years of neglect.

Oddly enough, the man that sat next to him, reading all night and drinking wasn’t the eeriest part of the aftermath, it was him using every technique Illumi had taught him to hide any signs of weakness from a captor, from his heaving breath, to his quivering lips, to the burning tears he was trying, but failing to hold back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. xx


	7. Borrowed Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Killua…” Gon started, right when he was about to drift off.
> 
> “…Yeah?”
> 
> “Promise me you’re being smart and safe about this.” Gon’s tone was back to flat, though it was a clear sign that he was being serious it made Killua’s heart flutter.
> 
> “…I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, thank you for putting up with my erratic updating schedule, I'll try to consistently post weekly from now on, though it's only a few more chapters left.

It was the third time that Killua hit snooze on his alarm that morning although he awoke long before the alarm went off. He decided to stay in bed that day, wrapping his whole body and head with the white soft sheets as he turned and tossed to find the most comfortable position to lay in, since a number of his bruises from his night with Kuroro were literally a painful reminder of what they did.

Gotoh came to his room that morning as expected to ensure his school uniform was up to par and to inform him breakfast was ready, but Killua claimed he was ‘Too sick to go to school, but not to worry, it was probably a 24 hour virus or something.’

The fact that Gotoh didn’t question him any further or hadn’t offered to take his temperature or offer him any sort of medication was well unexpected, he braced to make up a number of excuses to why he didn’t want to be touched, but Gotoh didn’t seem to take the situation too seriously, to his delight.

Matters were becoming much weirder lately, as well as people.

As if his entire life changed in one single day; from people’s expectations of him, to a newly found sense of unconditional freedom, to the unprecedented treatment he was receiving.

He’d never thought of questioning it at first, but as time went on, and odd events were unravelling so closely together, it was becoming harder to disregard.

Either people around him trusted him too much, or they simply grew careless about him. The second possibility was absurd, Killua was the centerpiece in his family’s existence, and for a number of reasons, so considering that the first choice made more sense, it was much too heart wrenching, because as always, he was the one who was deceiving everyone around him, proving everything ever said about him right, once again. Another terrible reminder of his situation.

It’s been four days since he last heard from Kuroro, he texted him at first waiting for a response and forgetting he ever sent the text, until he was reminded at the end of the day when came the typical time he snuck out to meet him, that he never received a response to begin with.

So he waited, fell asleep and woke up the next morning to quickly reach for his phone expectantly before he was fully awake, to find nothing once again.

The next night he woke up twice only to check for a response that he never received.

So he decided to call, but Kuroro’s phone was turned off an all he got was an automated voice message asking him to leave him a message that he couldn’t bring himself to do, even if his life depended on it.

He was worried at first that something terrible may have happened, or that Kuroro got into something way over his head and the most dreaded thing had happened, which made him lose track of time and sense for what seemed like hours, but turned out to be a few minutes of overthinking and agonizing over the unknown, he could still remember how his chest constricted so tightly, and how unable he was to move a muscle once his mind started going to a darker place when he heard the automated message, but then he thought Kuroro might have just ghosted him after getting what he wanted and moved on to someone else, or even worse, he still wanted Killua but was cheating on him, or was he cheating on someone else with Killua?

The unpleasant feeling reached its pinnacle when Killua was honest with himself and decided that he would much rather see Kuroro’s cold, unmoving, blood-covered body than to ever see, or learn that he was with somebody else.

Oh, how he hated being unable to do anything or tell anyone about what he was going through.

Killua finally decided to get out of bed and roam around the house aimlessly, since there was no vice to take his mind off things in his room, he might get lucky and find an answer outside.

So, he sat in the middle of the main staircase of the house, wrapped up in a blanket for good measure to help sell his lie.

It did nothing, all he could still think about is how stupid he was, and maybe being miserable wasn’t just a thing he learned and grown accustom to at his house, but it was always in the cards for him.

The maids and butlers were swarming the house, some even in the main foyer, a place his mother warned the staff from ever being seen in, since it was still morning time, they were cleaning and inspecting everything thoroughly to figure out if anything needed renewal or repair, he couldn’t remember the last time he saw the butlers in the foyer.

“Killu, what’s with you?” Killua heard Milluki ask from behind him at the top of the stairs, he couldn’t even bring himself to look his way as he spoke, “Just leave me alone.”

“Jeez, why are you always in a shitty mood? No one can ever talk to you!” Milluki complained, still standing at the top of the stairs as if waiting for a better response, which wasn’t something he usually did when Killua was rude to him, he usually decided to retreat to his room after calling Killua names.

Killua didn’t know what Milluki was waiting for but he decided to humor him since there wasn’t anything better to do, so he finally turned to him, brows raised with a nonchalant expression, “Did you need something or are your gamer friends still sleeping?”

“You’re such a fucking brat! Why do I even bother?” Milluki said and started to walk away with a frustrated huff.

“Bother with what?” Killua asked turning 180 degrees to catch a glimpse of Milluki as he stormed off.

“What do you mean bother with what? You look like death, you haven’t eaten dinner in a month, and no one can ever find you anywhere.” Milluki explained as he rested an arm on the wall for support so he could stand for a longer time.

“I’m fine.” Killua assured, turning away from Milluki, putting an end to the conversation.

“You don’t look fine, and mama is worried sick, she’s even thinking of not sending you on the school trip anymore.” Milluki informed him.

“She was going to send me alone… Without any butlers?” Killua inquired, as he scanned Milluki’s face.

“No, duh. You’re 16 Killu, what did you think, she was going to send someone to babysit you forever? Even Illu-nii thought it was a good idea.”

Most likely his family was brainwashed, or they were messing up the dosages of their poisons, “You’re talking to Illumi? You know, he didn’t contact me once since he left.”

“Yeah, he thought he should give you some more space, since you tried to run away again that time when you two went to meet up with Chrollo for work.”

“What?!”

Milluki was referring to the time they went to the bar together, but Milluki never knew Kuroro owned it, and since he refers to him formally, Kuroro wasn’t on close terms with Milluki so he heard it from Illumi, who had no reason to lie, but they didn’t go to work for Kuroro, Illumi was his friend.

“You know, he thought that since you’re older now, maybe giving you some space would let you realize that you don’t have to keep trying to run away.” Milluki explained to him, but their conversation was soon to end, judging on Milluki’s irregular breathing.

“No, I meant the part about Kuro— Chrollo.”

“Oh, yeah. Illumi was working for him for a while, but he didn’t want you to know so you don’t take it as a green light to go off doing something stupid and against the rules. Forget I ever told you this, and if I get questioned about it, I’ll lie.” Milluki’s tone turned more threatening and laced with fear at the end, “Wasn’t that why you wanted me to help you with research about Chrollo’s troupe the other time?”

“No, yeah.” Killua said, turning away and rethinking his words, “I just meant I didn’t know if this mission was in contract… with Chrollo.”

“Oh. Anyway, if you tell I told you anything, you’re dead meat.” Milluki warned him one last time, he could imagine him pointing a finger and a scowl at Killua to drive his point home before walking away.

Kuroro lied to him, and to think of all the times he acted high and mighty about how he wasn’t the type of person who would tolerate lying, he wasn’t any different than Illumi.

Both thought they could do whatever they wanted and prohibit others from acting in the same manner they did, both of them were hypocrites, but at least Illumi would never take advantage of Killua for no reason, as twisted and selfish as he was, he always had Killua’s best interest in mind according to his own standards.

Oh, how much of a scumbag was Kuroro to make Illumi look like a better person than he was.

“Killua-sama, are you feeling any better?” Gotoh asked him, standing in front of him at the foot of the staircase.

“No…” Killua admitted.

“Well, if you start showing any symptoms of sickness at any time you should let me know right away.” Gotoh advised, of course he knew, that was what he loved most about him, he always knew what Killua was up to, which gave Killua a sense of security for some reason, but Gotoh never felt it was his place to face him with his fibs, it was starting to feel like he didn’t care lately. “I contacted your friend’s Aunt as per Madame’s request, you will leave for your trip from their house, it is safer to not give the school our location.”

“I’m leaving from their house?”

“Since the school counselor suggested him as the most reliable student, and the family’s track record is unprecedentedly clean, it was decided that you would spend the night in their house, and you would leave in the early morning with the school bus from there.” Gotoh explained, “Do you want me to make you anything? Some tea or a chamomile?”

“No.”

“Feel better, Killua-sama.” Gotoh concluded bowing slightly and turning to leave, “If you need any help young master, you know I’m always around.” Gotoh finished before walking away.

Once Killua was in his room again, he realized how stupid of a decision it was to skip school, at least if he went, he would’ve been distracted by something. Anything.

All he could to do now was sit around and rethink every last detail of his encounters with Kuroro, and if he lied about working with Illumi, what else he was lying about? And would it even matter? The man clearly didn’t want anything to do with him anymore, he got what he wanted and opted out oh, so easily.

Maybe it was a waste even thinking about it, but it didn’t even matter if he was out of his life, what mattered was he wasn’t going to be taken for a fool by someone like that, no, he will get to the bottom of things, he’ll research his whereabouts once more and come up with an answer this time.

He started his research once again, which led him to many blank walls, but soon enough he found something, something that he didn’t ever think could be the reason why Kuroro’s phone was off, two more members of the troupe were killed a few days ago, the day after he was with Kuroro.

It was that terrible feeling again, the one he felt when he thought something bad could’ve happened to him, his gut never lied, but sometimes he wished it would.

Kuroro was probably miserable and alone, and he was home acting like it was the end of the world that he didn’t receive a reply when he deemed it appropriate.

He had to contact Kuroro, one way or another, he had to be there for him, he knew how bad he must be feeling, he saw it firsthand the second time they met, but now he wasn’t there to help him in anyway, and he wouldn’t have that.

A soft whirring sound came from behind his door, muffled and barely above the floor, a distinct slam of something came at the bottom of his door.

Killua went to check the door, the sound brining back a lot of memories to life, and once he opened it, there it was.

A toy truck, with a bunch of choco-robo kuns in the trunk, courtesy of Milluki, Killua assumed, as he grabbed the truck and took it inside closing the door.

He wanted to cry so bad right now, but the dryness in his throat never translated into anything but a chocked and dry hiccup, all he could do was swallow hard around nothing once or twice in an attempt to force away the feeling.

Milluki always used to send him chocolate when they were little in remote controlled toy cars after it was time to sleep whenever he heard Killua crying in his room, or he saw him sulking at dinner, at first he would bang the wall that separated their rooms, claiming Killua’s crying, quite as it was, was ruining his live streaming, and his friends were complaining about it, but he always sent him chocolates 20 minutes later at most.

The first time Milluki sent him those chocolates, Killua cried even harder, and his crying was audible for a change, but Milluki didn’t bang the wall then, once Killua was composed enough he sent Milluki some video game back, although Milluki had every game ever made, Killua wanted to return the gesture, small as it was, just to let Milluki know he was thankful, even though he never had anything of value to offer.

Killua smiled at the card, that as time went on, was added to the small remote control car of goods, after a few times Milluki started to ask Killua to send him something he wanted in return, mostly it was an old video game, that he was probably bored of, in an attempt to help convince Killua that this, as everything else, was a simple trade, nothing more nothing less.

Killua picked the game Milluki requested and put it in the truck, banged the wall twice and the car moved back, turned and went out of the door that Killua opened for it.

If things were to keep going this way, he might not be able to get through it.

The next day Killua didn’t skip school, but he did skip some classes, and the school trip’s orientation, instead he was outside with Gon at the football field, sitting on the bleachers, as he waited to get any response from Kuroro, Gon was a great distraction, he didn’t question him and he was all too happy about Mito’s farewell feast that she was preparing as they were speaking.

“I think it’s great that you’ll stay at my house tonight.”

“Yeah? and why is that?” Killua asked dubiously lifting his head from his phone.

“Because. We’ll get to know each other better, and we’ll spend the trip together. It’ll be so much fun!”

“I’m sure.”

Maybe the school trip would help distract him, but if Kuroro was to call him back today, how would he come up with an excuse valid enough to stay back home? What if Mito didn’t believe he was sick like he would claim and would send him anyway? And what if he was on the trip when Kuroro contacted him? Killua noticed that Gon hadn’t said anything for a while now, which was very unlike him.

“Is something wrong?” Killua asked him as their peers started to evacuate the school building as the bell rang.

“Yeah…” Gon started and stopped shortly after, “I don’t know, it’s like you’re not excited at all about this trip, I feel like I’m annoying you.” Gon admitted, to Killua’s quizzical expression.

“You’re not annoying me, I just know these trips, we go sightseeing and stay at hotels and get bored out of our minds.” Killua explained.

“Well, I’ve never been on a school trip like this before, I’m sure it’ll be great.” Killua laughed at Gon’s excitement, which made Gon look at him wide eyed and confused.

“You’re really something, aren’t you?” Killua said, giving him a playful punch to the shoulder, Gon tilted back against the punch, and laughed too.

“You’re strong!” Gon announced all too surprised.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Killua asked indignifid, “I’ll have you know, I’m a pro in every type of martial art you can think off.”

“That’s so cool, I didn’t know that.” Gon replied, turning to face Killua on the bleachers and sitting indian style, palms pressed to the bleacher, behind his ankles. “You should join the football team.” he suggested.

“No, thanks, it’s a bunch of idiots running after a ball and knocking out each other’s teeth, no offense. But I like more practical sports, something that can be of aid if push comes to shove.” Killua explained.

“What would it aid you with?” Gon wondered, eyes as wide as ever.

“That’s a topic for another day.” Killua said, remembering he couldn’t tell Gon what line of work he was training for his entire life.

“What do we have here? You two skipped orientation, didn’t ya?”

  
“Oh, hey Leorio, this is Killua, but it’s okay, we get the gist of it, Killua’s been on many trips before.” Gon justified to Leorio who stood opposite of them.

“Killua, huh?” Leorio looked him over in disapproval, “You two still should’ve attended, it was mandatory.”

“Maybe next time big guy,” Killua replied with a pleasing smile.

“Hey, I’m a student counselor, so you should show respect kid.”

“Whatever.”

“What’s going on Leorio?”

“Hey, Shizuku, I just caught these two skipping orientations to hang out here like a couple of delinquents. I expected better from you Gon.”

Sure, better from Gon.

“Oh, hey Shizuku, I’m so sorry we skipped the orientation, I promise it won’t happen again.” Gon apologized to the other counselor, as Killua looked her over, he had seen her somewhere before, and it wasn’t at school, he was sure of it since he knew every student counselor for the simple reason of avoiding them.

“You guys are going on the trip, right?” Shizuku asked them.

“Yes, we are.” Gon affirmed her, nodding and smiling.

“Okay great Killua, if you need any help please let me know.”

“Oh... I’m Gon, that’s Killua.” Gon corrected her pointing over at Killua.

“Really? ‘Not the blonde.’ Or was it ‘The blonde?’” Shizuku wondered out loud with her fingers on her chin looking back and forth between them.

Gon looked Killua’s way confused, “That’s Killua, he’s blonde… I guess.” Gon tried helping her out, as she looked at him with a blank face and nodded finally. “Alright, I’ll take your word for it.” She said. “Anyway, you should still register your names and addresses so the bus could pick you up tomorrow morning.” She added.

“Oh right, I’ll write them down and we can leave right after, is it okay if I write my address for both of us?” Gon asked the two counselors.

“Sure, there is no problem with that.” Leorio confirmed.

“Why would you write your address for both? Isn’t Killua going on the trip?” Shizuku asked Gon.

“Yes, he is, but he’s staying over the night at my house.” Gon explained filling up the form Leorio handed him.

“Oh, I see…”

“Okay, let’s go Killua!” Gon stood up grabbing Killua’s hand to pull him to his feet as he led the way down the bleachers and out of school.

“Gon, Zushi’s on the phone for you!” Mito’s voice rang from the hallway, “Coming!” Gon yelled back getting up from the living room’s floor where he and Killua sat playing cards next to Grandma Abe.

“Dude, who uses a phone still?” Killua scoffed.

“We have it in case my dad is ever in a country that only has landlines, in case he calls.” Gon explained making Killua’s heart wrench at the optimistic, deluded answer.

“Don’t move a muscle, I’ll be right back, and don’t check the card deck!” Gon warned halfway into the hallway where their phone was.

Killua was winning with a whopping seven-to-zero, but that didn’t stop him from checking the deck just to be spiteful, going through it and rearranging the cards in a way that would probably drive Gon insane, out of nowhere he heard Grandma Abe laugh pleasant and throaty out at him.

“You’re a crafty young man.” Abe commented at Killua, who lowered the deck reflexively as if to keep her from seeing it, which was unnecessary since she wasn’t looking up from her knitting where she sat on the rocking chair.

Killua chuckled in response, rearranging the card deck and putting back down, looking over at Gon walking up and down the hallway as he spoke to Zushi about whatever, he seemed very invested in whatever conversation they were having.

“I’m glad you came over tonight, did you enjoy dinner?” Abe asked him.

“Oh, yes. It was amazing, Mito-san is a great cook.” Killua replied, “I’m glad I came.”

“You know the house is going to be empty when you two leave tomorrow, and to think he would leave just when he brought a friend home.” Abe said, turning the yarn strings over the blunt-eyed needle.

“Gon never had any friends over?”

“No, the move was hard on him, he had some friends back home, but they rarely came to visit,” Killua listened closely, he always took Gon to be the most outgoing, confident, friendly person he’d ever known. “He was over the moon when he befriended you, he’d come home daily and tell us what you two did at school.” Abe fell silent for a few seconds, and the sound of the ticking wall clock was all too distinct suddenly, “He’d be a better person to learn to be more cautious and resourceful like you.”

“Thanks…” Killua chuckled awkwardly again.

“A person should be selfish sometimes; selfish enough to pursue what’s best for them and for their heart, instead of living a life revolving around other people. Gon doesn’t understand that, but maybe you can get through to him.”

“Hey! Guess what? Mito-san didn’t put out the fire in the wood oven, so we can hang out in the backyard if you want to, we won’t get cold.” Gon announced as he walked back in and sat next to Killua.

“Sure, let’s go outside. See you later, Grandma”

“So, what did Zushi want?”

“Nothing, he was asking me about the hotel we’re staying at.” Gon said, wrapping the blanket around him tighter.

“Are you still excited about the trip?” Killua asked from his position laying down on the wooden deck and looking up at the stars.

“Of course! We’re going to have so much fun; I’ve read the pamphlets and everything, there are great locations to sightsee and explore,” Gon said bolting up right in his eagerness and coming closer to Killua unintentionally, “We can go to the archaeology museums, there are amazing artifacts there I researched it an all, there are also great places to eat and hang out…”

“You’ll get bored, you’ll see.”

“No way, we’ll have so much fun there, and it’s a great place to learn more about archaeology, I’ll take pictures and show them to my dad when he comes around…”

“Doesn’t it get taxing waiting for someone to come back all the time?” Killua asked, quickly regretting his intrusion on Gon’s personal matters.

“Some people are worth the wait.” Gon’s voice turned softer.

“And how do you know if that person is worth the wait?” Killua wondered.

“You just do.” Gon said, a sorrow smile appearing on his face. “Why do you ask? Is there someone your waiting for, too?” Gon looked at him wide eyed as if things just clicked in his mind.

“No… Not anymore, I just want to try and enjoy the trip tomorrow.”

Killua looked up at the sky pulling the itchy yet warm blanket around him tighter to shield him from the cold as the fire in the stove slowly turned to embers, “You never told me how the party went…” Gon said.

“Oh… Right… It was fun.” Killua said finally, hoping he wouldn’t be perused into delving deeper into it.

“How was your date?” Gon asked as he tended the fire in the wooden oven.

“It was great.” Killua tried to keep his replies concise and simple.

“Don’t you want to tell me about it?” Gon asked as he sat next to Killua again, ripping open a bag of chips chaotically and throwing a chip in his mouth.

What was there to even tell? He would either have to go on about it for an hour and sound like an obsessive person who was dumped without so much as an explanation. On the other hand, Gon already knew he went on a date, and his responded supportively, so maybe he finally could tell someone about it.

“It was… terrible.” Killua finally admitted in a low voice, his eyes downcast inspecting the grass patterns closely.

“I’m so sorry, what happened?” Gon urged him to talk more, but maybe there was nothing to talk about, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“Actually… I do.” Killua found himself admitting, if he could trust someone like Kuroro how could he not trust Gon? The most reliable student at school.

“He… He never called me back.” Killua admitted, rearranging the card deck for what seemed like the millionth time, he had to find the right order for the cards after all.

“Are you serious? Why? What did he do?”

Killua chuckled in amusement, “How do you know he did something and not me?”

“I know you.” Gon said, and Killua dared to lift his eyes momentarily to look him in the face, he was looking at him sternly, but it wasn’t a menacing look, it felt more shouldering, and as idiotic as Gon was he didn’t seem as if he had a bad bone in him, he didn’t get the feeling he gets around most people when he’s around Gon or his family.

“We did it… Once… I don’t know it’s stupid. And it turns out my brother works for him, that was great to hear—”

“Wait, your brother never told you he works for your boyfriend?”

“No…” But at that moment in time he couldn’t blame him.

“Okay… How old is your brother anyway?” Gon wondered putting two and two together.

“Well… He’s about 26.” Killua said, his eyes darting quickly to gauge Gon’s reaction to it, but he’s face never changed, his lids fluttered a few times and then he broke eye contact his eyes flickering around aimlessly.

“And how old is he?”

“He’s 28.”

“Killua that’s terrible.” Gon blurted out at his admission.

All Killua could do now was confess to everything, there was no going back and hiding his shame, for one Gon would never let it go, and for two he already knew enough to jump to unnecessary conclusions and judging on the fact that he was silently waiting for Killua to continue he probably already was.

“He’s…” Killua started stopping to let out a long sigh, “He’s actually great to me, that’s why I was upset about him not calling me back.”

And about not telling him that he worked with Illumi.

“But still Killua, he’s too old for you, that’s not okay.”

“That’s not the problem, I’m used to dealing with people that age—”

“But Killua—”

“Just forget it.” Killua waved it off, turning away from Gon again. “You can’t tell anyone about this. My family can never hear about it.” Killua used his most stern voice to drive his point home. “Promise?”

Gon looked at him disagreeing with a scowl, he seemed still hung up on it and it dawned on Killua that the only way out of this is through.

“Here’s the thing… My family doesn’t let me go out. Ever. This the first time I’ve slept out of my house to their knowledge, it likely happened because my brother is out of the country, so he had no direct say over it.”

Gon was looking at him with a calm expression, taking in everything he was saying and digesting it to his liking.

“And believe me his age isn’t an issue at all, we’re very compatible—”

“Except that he never called you back after he slept with you.” Gon cut him off, and Killua felt his chest tighten at the words and seconds later realized his jaw was hanging open. “I’m sorry Killua but that doesn’t seem fair to you, he was exploiting you.” Gon’s voice started to rise gradually while all Killua could do was stare in disbelief, Kuroro never disagreed with him this heatedly, or at all.

“Just forget it.” Killua said getting up and collecting his things, setting to head inside.

“Where are you going?” Gon asked in bewilderment as he followed Killua suit.

“I’m going home.” Killua said walking into the house, a wave of warmth engulfing him instantly, he noticed that the living room was empty which indicated everyone was asleep except for them.

“Killua…” Gon said standing inside against the sliding door that they just walked through as Killua started to collect his belongings in a haste. “What?” Killua spat venomously.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Gon said matter-of-factly, the audacity this boy possessed was unparalleled, “I won’t go on the trip without you.” He admitted.

It stopped Killua in his tracks for a while before he resumed packing the suitcase he opened to retrieve his PJs, he couldn’t be the reason that Gon misses out on a trip he was so happily looking forward to.

But he also didn’t want to stay with him at his house after what he said, and what gave him the right to talk to Killua like that?

“You…” Killua started snapping up to stand straight, facing Gon from across the room and walking slowly towards him, “You don’t get to judge me, do you get that?” Though Killua was using his most menacing voice and iciest stare, standing half a foot away from Gon, Gon didn’t seem to be affected by his display of intimidation whatsoever, instead he stood completely still, looking at Killua closely as if he was memorizing every detail about his face. “What?!” Killua finally broke out of character after he felt a rush of heat hurry to his face.

“Nothing. I’m sorry.” Gon said finally his voice flat and devoid of any emotion.

Killua walked back over to his suitcase and was stopped short with Gon’s next admission, “I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” Killua was glad he had his back turned to Gon since he didn’t want him to see his face when he heard him, he willed his trembling lip to stop and heard Gon walk past him and up the stairs to his room.

Killua stood for a few seconds weighing his options of staying back home where he could see Kuroro whenever he pleased, or going after Gon and granting him his wish of enjoying the trip with him by his side, he wouldn’t actually skip the trip just because Killua did, would he?

So, he marched upstairs and knocked the door softly, “Come in.” He heard Gon’s muffled voice from behind the door and opened it slowly.

Gon looked at him for a few seconds, and it was a waiting game from there on out.

“Can I still sleep here?” Killua mumbled his question, breaking eye contact.

“…Sure.”

Killua walked over to the unused spare bed that was in Gon’s room where he was supposed to sleep and sat on the edge, his knees inches away from Gon’s sitting on the opposite bed.

“I know a great burger joint over there.” Killua said breaking the silence finally.

He looked up at Gon and saw him smiling spontaneously at him. “What’s its name?” Gon asked more demure than usual.

“I’ll take you to it tomorrow.” Killua said laying in his bed and wrapping his body with the blanket.

Gon followed his lead soon after, laying in bed and turning off the lights, “I can’t wait.” He heard him say trying to hide his enthusiasm that lead Killua to try to hide his smile in the dark room like an idiot.

“Killua…” Gon started, right when he was about to drift off.

“…Yeah?”

“Promise me you’re being smart and safe about this.” Gon’s tone was back to flat, though it was a clear sign that he was being serious it made Killua’s heart flutter.

“…I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, as always comments, questions and suggestion are more than welcome. xx

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading.  
> Please leave me any comments or feedback, it would really help me and make me happy.  
> Have a great day x


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